I haven't felt the need to share in a while, but I really NEED support today. Yet, again, I got called in the office for minor things, some my fault and some they just blame me. They seemed genuinely concerned about me, knowing that the things that happened were right around my pretrial date. I just don't know how to please this woman...jobs are hard to come by, esp what I do. I am targeted and sooo on edge now, I am so afraid of screwing up badly. I actually needed a Xanax today, which I never take. I dont' even know where to begin. I have been looking for a new job, my house is prolly going to be going on the market, Aidan is super sad and a mess...I am such a mess, I feel like I did 3 years ago when all this started. I felt I got blindsided at work, and should have been made away before the super went to my director. She and others have made mistakes and I never say a thing, let alone go to my director. IDK, maybe bc I am quiet at work they feel like they can push me around. I know you aren't therapists....I just need someone that knows the intensity of divorce to understand all I have on my mind. I am so beside myself, today, and it took a lot for me to write this...maybe bc I feel so helpless. So helpless. Thank you for listening.
If I could jump off a bridge or have God take me in my sleep I probably would be happier.