Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I compose music but have a very rough time doing so. Everything has to be perfect for one, but my biggest problem seems to be that I have a severe lack of confidence in myself. I find it very hard to compose and have this thought in the back of my head that whatever song I am writing at the time is going to end up sounding horrible or go wrong.
I find that if I write a little bit at a time, I am less anxious, but if I go without writing for a period of time it is almost unbearable for me to start back up.
I also have panic attacks when trying to compose or play an instrument.
I am very rusty when it comes to playing instruments and am always beating myself up over it. I also am very critical of my own voice.
Often, I will get a portion of a song stuck in my head for days that I just can not get rid of. I will obsess about what the rhythm will be, what notes to use, if the bassline will fit the guitars, etc.
Just thinking about my music will often cause me to break into tears, and I can not for the life of me get my music out of my head. As I have said before, it is very hard for me to compose or play, and yet 24/7 this is what I feel like I should be doing. It is literally impossible for me to so much as relax or even watch a TV show as these musical loops will not leave my head. I also can't get the thought that I am a horrible musician out of my head.
I suffer from depression, OCD and panic disorder. I'm wondering if any of these disorders is causing this problem or if it is perhaps a combination of my problems. Either way, I feel like this nonstop obsessing over my music is destroying my life and making me completely miserable.
Can anyone out there relate or have advise? Thanks for any help.
I find that if I write a little bit at a time, I am less anxious, but if I go without writing for a period of time it is almost unbearable for me to start back up.
I also have panic attacks when trying to compose or play an instrument.
I am very rusty when it comes to playing instruments and am always beating myself up over it. I also am very critical of my own voice.
Often, I will get a portion of a song stuck in my head for days that I just can not get rid of. I will obsess about what the rhythm will be, what notes to use, if the bassline will fit the guitars, etc.
Just thinking about my music will often cause me to break into tears, and I can not for the life of me get my music out of my head. As I have said before, it is very hard for me to compose or play, and yet 24/7 this is what I feel like I should be doing. It is literally impossible for me to so much as relax or even watch a TV show as these musical loops will not leave my head. I also can't get the thought that I am a horrible musician out of my head.
I suffer from depression, OCD and panic disorder. I'm wondering if any of these disorders is causing this problem or if it is perhaps a combination of my problems. Either way, I feel like this nonstop obsessing over my music is destroying my life and making me completely miserable.
Can anyone out there relate or have advise? Thanks for any help.
Is that part right?
Does it flow nicely?
Would it sound as good to someone else?
The thing is, I am in a band, we have been playing the same songs for 2 years and the pressure is on to create something new. Riffs I have written always get a postive repsonse from my band-mates but I can never shake the feeling that it is not quite good enough.
I'm not sure I have a solution to this, not one that would help you relax about music. It is something that is supposed to bring joy. Just the act of playing should be enough but creating is another story.
I get Baker street stuck in my head, constantly. It's that or the Top Gun theme, which gets really annoying.
I tend to keep in practice by playing along to others songs but it just makes me feel like I am procrastinating.
I hope you and I find a solution to this because it sucks to be creative with depression and anxiety making us question it.
I like to think even those who seem to be supremely talented suffer this problem at times.
The thing is, I have LOADS of songs I am in the process of writing (at least 7). I just can not for the life of me finish one of them! Part of it is that the process of creating is painful, and I think a lot of it is also that I am afraid that the end product may not be what I wanted. Another part of me is deeply afraid that if I finish my songs, I will run out of ideas and my creative process will be over. Likely, much of what I am thinking is irrational, but I just can't shake it off.
My husband who is a painter has problems with insomnia because he always has art gong through his head. Then again, he doesn't seem to get worked up about his art 24/7 and he doesn't look down on himself or get depressed over his work. Perhaps this is a common problem in creative types?
Gotta head to work, but hopefully we can talk about this a bit more when I return. Thanks for the help.
That is a common problem for me. I tend to try and put things in I can't really do. Things like electronic beats in an analogous sound and sweeping strings. Sometimes even a choir.
I sometimes wonder if I aim to high with the sounds I crave and this also has a negative impact on how I view my ability.
I have always been one to try and run before I can walk, so a year after learning guitar, a punk band was formed. That was easy for me, punk has a simplicity. Now I am in a band that is a lot more melodious it is a challenge I am ill prepared for.
Do you read and write the dots? It is something I could never do.
The painting masters rarely showed any anxiety but I am sure it was there for them. Van Gogh was a man who questioned every stroke he put down on canvas, as we do with every chord we play.
I like to think this gives us hope that we can find our path in creative work.
disagree sir. you have all the tools at your disposal to aim as high as you like, not everything you write has to be band-friendly - so indulge yourself in your own music and take anything that can work to the band.
Some sections of our old songs that i "came up with" (hoho) were lifted straight from Strapping Young Lad, just without the double kick drums/keyboards/SFX etc, but by the time we`d finished with it, it had kinda mutated into our own version... or some things i took from when i was making stuff on the PC same as you. It`s pretty cool to hear how the same foundation can produce 2 totally different sounding houses :)
The BIGGEST problem is with trying to get a realistic sounding guitar. I play guitar, but as I have spent many years not playing I am extremely rusty. I have been trying to add some real guitar to the tracks, but obviously not only am I rusty but I don't have much confidence.
I do feel a limitation in what I can do, which likely is causing much of the problem.
BTW- I used to play drums in a punk band, but that was a good 8 years or so ago.