I am feeling very anti-social right now. My Grandma is here in the other room and her neighbor drove her here. So that means there is a complete stranger in the house. I am not great around strangers and I just don't like having them in the house. I have been so depressed lately and sad. My life totally sucks. I don't have much going for me except great parents, a great best friend and my kitty. I don't have a job, a car, a boyfriend or very many friends at all. I only have like one friend left since high school and that was like 14 years ago. I am 32 freakin years old and am living at home with my parents. In some ways it's a good thing to be living with them because it helps my schizophrenia to have people to spend time with and kind of my depression too. I only like being around people that I know and can actually get along with. I see my best friend usually a couple times a month. I just saw my favorite cousin Amanda like last weekend. My dad drives me crazy. He's retired and always around. He has an extremely short temper and I get it from him. I hate to say it, but he can be a real dick sometimes. I still love him of course, but still. He shouldn't be talking to me like that. He has called me overweight and tries to tell me that I never do anything around here. I cook dinner for us every single weeknight. I wipe the dishes every single night. I change the cat litter box. I vacuum the stairs. I scrub the tub. I brush the cat. I feel as if I do plenty every week, especially dinner and wiping the dishes. I am so sick and tired of his BS. He insists that America is going to collapse and drastically change. He's one of those crazy preparer people that is always saving up on tons and tons of food, water, first-aid supplies and God knows what else. I am so sick of hearing him bitch and moan about the change and end of life as we know it. It doesn't help that i'm always hearing voices too from my schizophrenia and having lots of fears and delusions. I am always having tons of nasty nightmares too. Every single night I have nightmares and bad dreams. I haven't had a good dream in years and i'm totally not exaggerating. It's getting ridiculous. I don't know how much longer I can take this crap. I see a therapist on a regular basis and have a peer support specialist and this other person I can talk to for support. I am seeing my psych again on tuesday to get back on an anti-psychotic, anti-depressant and an anxiety med. I have anxiety disorder too. I have so much going on in my head that it just getting way out of hand.