Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Anger vs. Depression

Anna1212
Anna1212

Have you ever heard that depression is just anger turned inward?  I'm not sure it that's true but it feels right.  I am angry all the time and sometimes very very angry to the point that it is a problem where i have trouble functioning.  anger is a scary thing because sometimes it can't be controlled.  it makes me feel like there must be really something wrong with me or more likely something really wrong with the family i grew up in.


and then i've heard that punching pillows, etc. doesn't work and makes it worse and i have found that to be very true.  whenever i have done that it whipped me up into a bigger frenzy. but i have read that it's best to address the underlying reason one is angry.. but that is soo much easier said than done.  most of what is making me angry i can't control.


sometimes i calm down.  when i'm working and focused on that or when i am able to stop thinking entirely which takes a big effort and i can't do it for over a minute. but if i can't distract myself i am usually mad. sometimes i am scared, panicked or sad.  i don't like the word depression.  it doesn't really ring true for me now.  i think at one point it did and now it doesn't.


i feel like giving up, i think every day about what it would be like to not  be here in that it imagine i could be a relief. but no one knows what happens in the end and i'm too scared to do that.  i don't believe in it either. 


i'm very unhappy.  i don't even really like posting here, no offense.  there's nowhere for me in this world where i can be loved and respected and have peace.  just the opposite.  i live just the opposite every day. friction, hate, harassement, loneliness, lack of comfort, overwork, over stress, abuse, physical and mental pain, not enough money to pay the bills, etc. etc.


i am finally in therapy and it's ok but i don't have high hopes. i've been down that road so many times and been disappointed or worse.


i need something good to happen.  people always say you have to make things happen for yourself but i don't believe that is always true. i have always tried and tried really hard in my life, been a decent person, taken risks, etc.  sometimes you just need a fricken break.


actually i don't really care anymore.  i feel like i need to be alone and quiet and just wait for the end.  i can't bear to be around human beings anymore. i don't get alone with anyone. and sucks to see them all getting along with each other, married, kids, etc. 


will the person who wrote me last time and told me to euthanize my cat please not respond to my posts anymore?  i would really appreciate it. 


Perry314
Perry314
I am sorry you are feeling this way. Thats great that you are going to therapy. Acknowledging and talking about it is the step in the right direction to feel better. That can certainly be one reason for depression, anger. But there are multiple causes of depression. genetics, upbringing and modeled behavior, diet, food additives, hydration, exercise, behavioral patterns, experiencing difficult or traumatic events, being around negativity, participating in work or activities that is not in-line with who you are. There are many reasons. I went through multiple traumatic experiences, have been going to therapy and also deeply looking into changing the things that are within my control. As women, we are culturally conditioned to repress anger and instead be sad because someone decided that being angry for women is not attractive. I call bullshit. Anger is a natural emotion that should be expressed through productive channels. The more you can express in a way in which what you say will be received with compassion, the better you will feel. And we do get out of life what we choose to put it. It is super hard and no one is happy 100% of the time. We have so many emotions for a reason, not just happy. People just appear that way. Behind closed doors is a different story and everyone has their struggles. What you are feeling is intense, but it is not abnormal and it will change. Have compassion for yourself as you are in therapy and taking steps to feel better. Have patience for yourself as this process takes time and you deserve that kind of dedication. You will feel better. Do something nice for yourself this evening. Like take a bath, go for a nice walk, look-up some pictures of places you would like to travel to, listen to upbeat music, have some tea or something nourishing like fresh fruit... whatever feels indulgent and strikes a cord. You deserve to treat yourself well.
Perry314
Perry314
And you are right. Everyone deserves a break. You can message me if you like. I hope this was somewhat helpful.
SuyB
SuyB
Its true. Anger/rage do make you depressed. It drains your energy, makes you feel like life has been sucked out of you. I had to get into therapy in my 30's to sort thru my anger/rage issues. Im 56 now. I take a antidepressant everyday, drink coffee and work a nite shift. I've done this for the last 12 years and it works for me. You have to find what works for you. Its different for everyone.
Anna1212
Anna1212
thx. your replies were really spot on and it helps to know someone understands and isn't judging me. I like the comment about not having work in line with who I am. I think aside from all the deeper issues that is going on right now and not being around the kind of people who are like me as well as the town I live in ... but I can't change all that at least in the near future. I think I do better actually when I am away from people just because of my personality. i don't want to be totally isolated but i don't like being in social situation or large groups of people. i think staying with therapy is a good idea. i think as i get older, i am in my mid 50's, i start to see even more clearly how the people in my life have damaged me, esp. my immediate family. very deep seated damage, makes me feel hopeless. anyway, thank you both so much for replying and understanding. this really does help and i am grateful for this site and the nice people I've met here. i just in really really foul moods a lot of the time. have a good night.
bridgie101
bridgie101
People have been telling me to euthanase my cat recently. Kind of gets under the skin. I got her an operation instead and yes it did cost a bomb, but that's my business....

anyway My understanding of anger is that it's a response to being hurt. It's a choice, a secondary emotion, not a real emotion but a decision of how to handle an emotion... Justice response to pain. How's that?

As to depression, to me that seems to have been a disempowerment. Where my hands always felt tied. I spent years looking for the door in the wall. One day it opened.

Hope things get better for you.
Padme
Padme
Yes I know what you mean about depression being anger turned inwards. I totally get it. For me it is a self loathing. I DO feel better after things like punching pillows or screaming (into the pillow) because I need a release. Those things do help me - they are cathartic and exhausting - but like you said, aren't the root of the problem so don't solve anything long term. I wish I has some better advise, but I feel better when I am not lost in my thoughts (keeping busy and distracting myself with daily life). Take care.
Anna1212
Anna1212
thx for the replies. yea, for me being depressed was like squelching my anger and turning it inward. it was unpleasant but milder in a way and I think it's more socially acceptable to hate yourself (depression) than hate others (anger). I know this is way over simplified but that's kind of how it feels to me. but you can't change other people or many situations so getting to the root of the anger is really really difficult. no one should have to live that way, with such extreme painful emotions. distracting myself with work and getting exhausted from that helps on the surface but that's it.