I'm also more or less a loner, I don't really have a desire to socialize or have relationships. Don't feel "abnormal" because of that. People who are well-adjusted and in relationships etc. also deal with the "why should I keep on living?" dilemma. Depression is the myopic focus on an issue such as this and letting it crowd out everything else.

Just be yourself and live for each day. Take it one day at a time and take pleasure in the little things. That's all life really is

I guess I'm pretty weird too, I do want friends and to socialize with them but I just seem really bad at making and keeping friends. Anxiety and depression make it really rough. If you feel you are depressed though then that's how you feel, choosing to keep on going through it doesn't make it less real.

Join the Club, Mate!

If you are making the decision to live several times a day you're having suicidal iterations several times a day, which tells me your life needs looking at, and you need some time out to get yourself on track.

It's depression and it won't go away if you don't deal with it.

But it also isn't real. your mind will play tricks and tell you to kill yourself when it can't think what else to do. It's really thick that way. When you realise it's some kind of mental kneejerk you don't take it too seriously - but it is an indication that what you are living with is going to kill you if you don't fix it.

Knowing that your problems are survival issues sometimes helps because it makes your needs non-negotiable. You no longer have room to tolerate the issue or the person: that person or issue has to change or be got rid of.

:)

You are a fighter. A survivor. I have had periods of my depression that cause me suicidal ideation throughout the day. All I know is that my Abilify antidepressant booster has helped keep me from the depths of depression. I am also having good results from taking vitamin D3 supplements,

Your depression is not less than real. Please know that you are not alone. Can you think of anything you have not tried yet to help yourself feel better? Depression makes one eager to seek relief.

(((((HUGS)))))

heatherhurts

you are not the wired one here ....I think everyone is a little wierd in there Owen way ..lol ......just by the fact that you have to make the dishion to live several times a day showers ..just how real your depreshion is ...and to what leaval it is at ..............if someone has given you an answer that makes you fee .....that they are Lessening ..your depreshion ...it was not done on purpose ....and ....instead of ..just ..letting it go and keep feeling this ask them what they ment ...talk to them about there answer ..and they will be happy to explain ...what they ment to say ...........................................................................now there is somthing I want to say ..and I do not mean for it to hurt you in any way .....I only am telling you this to help you to see things diferantly some times .............when I am realy depressed ....I can't come in here and read posts and answer them ..because ..I missinturpit ..so make a mistake as to what ....was riten in .the posts I read ....so when I answer ....I give ...wrong answers ..and end up having to apoligise ....for ...the mess I leave ..............................so it is posible ..that some times ...seeing as you are that depressed ....that you might also ....be ..misunderstanding a response to one of your posts .....that is making you feel like it is lessening your depreshion ..........so ........I just stay off here ...when I am that bad ...and only answer my messages and my hugs ....and also I find it very painfull in here ..to ........but ...you might not want to do that ...so you could just ..eather ask them to ..talk more about what they said ..or tell them ...more about how depressed you are ...there just has to be more communication ...and that schould ..help you with that problem .....let me know if it helps ....message me when ever you like ..I will keep you in my prayers ...God bless