Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So lately I've been having suicidal thoughts. I told a friend and she says that I should really tell someone else. I then told my therapist and then she said that as long as I felt safe that I was okay(when I told her back then things weren't so horrible) well now I think by keeping it in, things got worse. Way worse. Every day at like 9pm, I have these thoughts. It's never really gotten to a plan yet but it's just really negative thoughts like "things would be better with me gone." or "I wouldn't have to stress so much if I were just gone." so far I've been able to control my cutting but I don't know how much longer I can be so strong for. When these thoughts come I go to bed, I don't think its good to be going to bed at 8:30-9 and waking up at 6 for school everyday. I don't know if I want to tell someone tomorrow (school counselor) and possibly get sent to the hospital or if I want to keep pretending that I'm perfectly okay. But I'm not.....
Please don't hurt yourself. There are alternatives. Let people help you. t is difficult being a teen as well as losing a parent. You are not crazy. You are very sad and need professional people to help you with your depression.
Please stay safe. Hugs to protect and comfort you.
It sounds like you know the answer to your question: things get worse when you hold them in, so you need to tell someone. If you need your friend there to literally hold your hand, that's perfectly fine. From personal experience, I recommend telling someone you already trust and tell them that you're scared about the possibility of going to the hospital. It's OK to be open about your fears. If you can come up with a plan together to keep yourself safe, then you may not have to go.
Good luck to you, let us know how everything goes.
However, you do need to open up to her. That's what you are going for . Suicidal idealization is what they call thinking about it all the time without a set date or plan. Like I said, I have this on a daily basis. I just think about it, I don't think I will ever do anything about it and will seek help if I reach that point.
If you can't talk to your therapist, post it on here. The act of writing helps me. Even if I don't post it. Just the fact that I got it up and out helps. Good luck to you. I hope you find the help you are looking for.