This past year feels like it has been a struggle .. and yet I never saw myself as someone who was suffering with depression .. yet all the signs are there. I've piled on so much weight that I can barely look in the mirror these days, I try so hard to get my life in order,
I was recently offered a fabulous job but I had to decline the offer because I really didn't feel that I could mentally do it! Half of me wanted to jump in and give it my best shot but the underlying anxiety got the better of me and I couldn't face it. After passing up this golden opportunity ..I had a mixture of feelings - relief, failure, regret
I feel like I'm isolating myself but if I'm honest, I'm most happy when I'm by myself, Some days I don't bother to get dressed, or even shower or clean my teeth, I spend the day pottering around my garden and avoiding any contact with other people.
I've tried telling my partner that I'm struggling but he isn't listening!!
So I dont work. I want to, but cant due to HG is too severe. So I am home. All day long, every day. My husband works. My roommates work. I dont. I'm alone. I look forward to the weekend for a chance to get out of the house but am I today? Nope. Alone in the house again. With a screaming terrible toddler who refuses to listen. Is my husband off today? Yes he is! Is he home with me? No he is not!...
I've been inactive for a couple of years now, for no reason in particular. Anyway, I want to get active again and start eating healthier. I do okay in the beginning, but then I lose motivation and have trouble holding myself accountable to stick with a commitment. Any suggestions?