Depression Support Group
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So... this year in June I am both graduating with my BA and turning 25. Kind of a big deal.
I just assumed my parents would be coming out for one or the other (we live 4 provinces apart). They are coming for a visit next weekend, but usually they come out once in the winter for skiing and once in the spring/summer. Last year their spring visit was for my brothers 30th birthday. Naturally, I assumed they would be humming and hawing about whether to come for my grad or my bday, which are 3 weeks apart, meaning they couldn't do both.
So I was on the phone with my mom this morning and asked her which once she was thinking they would like to come out for and she paused for a while and then said, sounding kind of confused, "oh... we weren't actually planning to do a trip to Calgary this spring."
Now, the reasons make sense - my other brother just moved to England in January, so they would like to visit him in the spring. Also, I have been hoping to make it out for a visit myself some time this summer, so they figured they're going to see me anyways.
My question is - given the fact that those reasons make good sense - is it silly of me to be as totally hurt by this as I am? I don't even want to go to my own graduation now because I have no one there to be proud of me and take pictures with me and all that... what the hell is the point in going if no one is there who gives a shit?
I just assumed my parents would be coming out for one or the other (we live 4 provinces apart). They are coming for a visit next weekend, but usually they come out once in the winter for skiing and once in the spring/summer. Last year their spring visit was for my brothers 30th birthday. Naturally, I assumed they would be humming and hawing about whether to come for my grad or my bday, which are 3 weeks apart, meaning they couldn't do both.
So I was on the phone with my mom this morning and asked her which once she was thinking they would like to come out for and she paused for a while and then said, sounding kind of confused, "oh... we weren't actually planning to do a trip to Calgary this spring."
Now, the reasons make sense - my other brother just moved to England in January, so they would like to visit him in the spring. Also, I have been hoping to make it out for a visit myself some time this summer, so they figured they're going to see me anyways.
My question is - given the fact that those reasons make good sense - is it silly of me to be as totally hurt by this as I am? I don't even want to go to my own graduation now because I have no one there to be proud of me and take pictures with me and all that... what the hell is the point in going if no one is there who gives a shit?
I don't know your family, but this brought back so many memories of things my parents did for my older brother, and left me in the dirt. I'm sure this isn't what is happening. They had money to Fly him home from school, but not me. ???
Whether it's like that or not, you have Every Right to feel hurt. Not saying they are Purposely "hurting" you, just that feelings aren't right or wrong, they just Are. I know I would feel hurt.
Sorry. Too bad we couldn't get a DS Bus (I better be careful talking about busses here), and ALL OF US COME OUT!!!! That would be a party.
Well .............. I'm really sorry. But no, NOT silly to feel hurt (not in my book).
Yes, it is OK to be hurt, but keep it a bit shy of totally hurt.
Congratulations on the degree!
could u not help towards costs? maybe postpone ur own england trip a mth or so. im prob talking crap i kknow cos i dont know all the details. just seems to me that if its something u REALLY want then u should try to make it happen if possible.
u will have more b-days but graduating is something im sure she would love to see. please try all u can to try arrange for her to be there. maybe she could postpone england. idk and u dont know eitehr til u find out WHY she cant come or what u may be able to do ,between u all, to help get her there. good luck
Winny - after my mom realized that I had been expecting them to come she felt bad and now wants to see if she could maybe fly in and out quickly for the ceremony but we're not sure if it will work or not - she only gets so many vacation days per year and my grad is on a Wednesday in the middle of the afternoon (bright idea there, admin!!!) so it would mean having to take 2 or 3 days vacay (plus the plane ticket she wasn't expecting)
You'll have friends nearby; stick around and celebrate with them.
(My family came from 130 miles away for my college graduation---made me fee like crap the whole time, for "inconveniencing" them, then headed home without even offering to share a meal, or anything. It made my heart sink. All my hard work mattered nothing to them.
My girlfriend's family, however, came all the way from Hawaii---her Mom planned ahead and brought fresh lei's for all four of us girls---we were pretty tight friends---and they apologized for having to dash back onto another plane to see another child in another city. Even so, their acknowledging how important a day this was for us made my family look like thoughtless louts.
So I partied with my college friends. I ended-up spending a wonderful evening with some very nice people and other "orphans" like me----and, looking back now, I wouldn't have missed it for anything.)
Celebrate the big milestones in your life!
We'll see if something works - if it doesn't I hope that at least my brother and his gf will come.. they live in the same city I do. They effin better come if Mom and/or Dad can't make it!!!!!
Hope your Mom or somebody can make it there---they should make the stretch!!!!
Of course, maybe their reasons are understandable, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't sting a bit.
Please, do go to your graduation ceremony! I assume you have friends who are also graduating, and it is a HUGE accomplishment! Go and enjoy!!
Congrats, a bit early!