Im sorry you feel that way. I have to been in that situation and still am. But you are never alone. My messages are always open if you’d like to talk about it.

Sorry it sucks right now.

I know exactly how you feel. They say they're there for you and then when they need to be, they just disappear

Sorry you are feeling this way. I think most of us have felt the same way and that their friends are never there when you need them. Talk to your doctor about the medication not working. Sometimes the doctor needs to make medication adjustments. If you are not seeing a therapist, ask your doctor to refer you to one.

I am not convinced other people are capable of being there for us. I think they mean well but I don't think they can make the internal shifts for us that are deep deep down in our gut. I think the change has to come from within us, actioned by us, owned by us, taking care of us.

My experiences of depression have been of victimhood and a sense of having my hands tied. I cannot do this because...

well... really? I have had to learn to see the world in a different way. No 'i deserve' anything. nothing. i deserve nothing but the air. Everything I want I have to get, and seeing as somebody else has it right now, that means everything I want I need to take. Take space from people in my life, demand respect from them, earn trust from them... I have to build slowly on my own foundations, and take the hit until they finally see the outcome.

I have to see what it is I need to survive. And get that. As my first priority. This is some strong and honest form of selfishness. Nobody else in the world can make you do this or understand why. It's up to you to take what you need from life, and stand up proud as you do it, because it is clearly necessary for your survival.

And that is a kind of moral high ground.