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Alcoholism

smpengwin
smpengwin
I'm 55 years old. I started drinking when I was about 15. All my adult life I've tried to confine my drinking to weekends only or times when I'm on vacation from work. That doesn't happen any more. I work full time but now and for the last couple of years, I drink every night. Every day when I go to work I have a hangover.
I stopped drinking for a whole year back in 2009. It was a miserable experience. I felt good psychically but emotionally i no longer looked forward to anything. I found little enjoyment or pleasure in anything. I never even looked forward to time off anymore. A Saturday night was no different than a Tuesday night so i never felt. "TGIF". I stopped wanting to do the things I love such as cooking, listening to music, going to the beach etc so in 2010 I decided to go back to alcohol.
Alcohol is having a terrible impact on my career and I fear that it's impacting my health as well. I'm very socially phobic so the idea of going to rehab or alcoholics anonymous is pretty much out of the question form me.
I feel like I'm on some sort of crash course and I'm either going to lose my job or my health. The idea of putting down the bottle is something i have little desire for and i believe that if I did make that decision, I wouldn't stick to it so what's the point? I don't mean to be pessimistic but I really don't know what else to do other than stay on this self destructive course which gives me some comfort.
McBri
McBri
You may be able to find a therapist who specializes in treating alcoholics in one on one sessions. There is also a support group here on DS for alcoholism: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/support-group

Through my personal experience, alcohol gave me respite and relief from my issues. In this way, it became my medicine. I went from drinking for fun to drinking until I was numb. I am currently working with a psychologist and counselor on ways to deal with my issues which do not include alcohol. It is not easy and you have to want to do it. Nights are the worst for me.

AA is not for me - not from a social phobia standpoint - but from a philosophical one. There are other avenues and ways and I am doing it my way.

Given the period of time you have been drinking and your age, I would recommend a visit to a physician before implementing a plan. Alcohol withdrawal can be quite intense and taxing on a body.

I hope you feel better soon. You have to want to stop drinking; otherwise, you won't.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
I have socail phobia too but find that the more I address it the better off Iam. For isntance i was able to go to church lat week for the first time in years, If you're interested in A.A. meetings, try going for ten minutes at first and sit next to an exit. Knowing you cqn leave at any time might help get you through that ten minute that you have committed to. Then gradually you can start to stay longer and maybe at some point talk to someone adn tell them about the social phobia. That's what I did with the church situation. I told someone about the social anxiety and she was very understanding. People at A.A. are there to help and I am sure you won't be the first person to walk through the doors who is struggling with the things you are struggling with. Best of luck.
doghunter59
doghunter59
I have pretty much had a beer every morning since I was 25 and that is half my life so far. You do know that beer is just not a breakfast dink anymore, right?

So you were born in '59 right? Cool you have seen the same things I have as far as the history of the world goes. Like, sitting down in front of the TV while they show that eternal flame for hours at a time when you were three. You do remember that right?

Anyywhoooo, Might I suggest slowing down? Just a wee bit, I mean if it bothers you or you are dwelling on it just slow down a bit, BUT, don't stop cause you and I both know the tires won't take it and the repair bill will be gynormass!
angeleyes92
angeleyes92
I am the child from a long line of alcoholics. My father died because of his drinking. He ended up with cirrhosis of the liver and died from a blood infection caused by the failing liver. My mother drinks almost as much as my dad did. Her mother the same thing. Alcohol has always been the important thing in my family's life. I however don't drink often. I have one glass of wine every 2 to 3 weeks. I broke the cycle.

Alcohol will kill you slowly. You are better off finding a way to stop than to keep drinking all the time. If you have kids, think about what you are doing to them. It's hell on the kids and grandkids to see someone care more about a bottle than a living being
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
Oh and welcome back by the way! Hope you can stay around longer this time. We are here for you. ONce the alcohol is put down then you will want to start talking about underlying issues which is where we come in. People here really do understand each other-----there is a lot of love here.