Suicide attempts and self destruction in any form will scare anyone. Most people do not know how to deal with someone depressed and unpredictable. I have been suicidal and cut myself when I was young. I lost boyfriends and was called names. You all know what kind of names.

I had a suicidal husband. We were too lost souls, with no one to lean on. I divorced him because I was not strong enough to emotionally support us both.

I feel something of that magnitude will change the dynamics of any relationship, be it friends, family or your spouse. Don't fool yourself to think they might care more. I found it alienates people from you.

Be strong and get help to turn your life around before it is too late.

When my boyfriend found out about my self harm/suicide attempts he initially very supportive, but it gets to a person after a while. He has a lot of guilt that he can't make me "happy" enough to stop. I slip into self harm occasionally and I know it scares him and it definitely causes more problems than anything else. My boyfriend feels like he needs to be able to get me to stop being depressed, and outward self harm or suicidal thoughts, in his mind, means he is failure, so we do struggle with it sometimes. *hugs*

Wow your two are very smart and understand yourselves and others very well. I can only say with that type of intellect, you have a lot to offer.