((((hugs)))) I have felt this way. I just recently got out of the hospital as a matter of fact. The holidays are very very hard. I hope that you can hang on to God during this difficult time. I would think about calling a suicide hotline if things get to bad and they can help you get to the nearest psychiatric facility. The only hotline I know by heart is 1-800-SUICIDE. Call it if you have to. You are very special and and deserve to be happy. Don't be afraid to go to the hospital, many people do. You can learn some tools to get u through.

I have the hotline in my phone.....as far as the hospital, i just started a new job so i cant. i dont know, i just dont want this anymore, hope God can help me, or forgive me if i cant go on

Why do you feel like you have no other option?

I'll never have enough money the way things are today, never be able to take care of myself, I feel alone, will never have a man like this, and no future. I feel like a loser and worthless and just not meant for this type of world

Sweetheart,

You Are In The Grip Of Debilitating Depression and Despair.
I Was Where You Are Not Long Ago. I felt like I had a "Right" To Leave My Loved Ones If I wanted to. I felt like things would Never Get Better.
I Told Myself That I Would Be Doing My Family A "Favor"................

Honey.......... I WAS WRONG!!!!!!! About Everything.
I Did Not Have The right To Devastate My Family.
Things Did Get Better!!!!!!!!!
And Taking My Kids Mom Away from Them was NOT Doing Them a Favor.

Sweetheart, Your family Will Be Devastated. They Will Spend the rest of their lives blaming themselves. Their lives will be filled with endless pain.

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER! YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS!
You Are In Pain.
You are a Wonderful, Beautiful, Valuable Person.
Please Don't Leave Us.

As Wally said you are not a loser! You aren't worthless!! You seem like you are just looking at the whole picture and getting overwhelmed by everything. Try to take it one day at a time ok! Just take a deep breath and write a list of things you can do in the next month to help yourself. Just little things like strike up a conversation with someone from work to see if we could be friends. Take up a hobby that you really enjoy doing and set aside time for that. Tell yourself one good thing about you a day, it can even be just that you like your hair, just something nice. Don't try to tackle the rest of your life all at once, break it all down and just try to make the most of the time you have. Big Hugs!!

thank u guys, trying very hard