Hi there. I am sorry you are experiencing such a strained relationship with your daughter. Unfortunately you may just need to do what you are doing now and give her space. Not sure what the back story is but she feels disconnected at the moment. Some kids are just head strong and will have to go through some things to realize what they really have.

As much as it hurts give her room to find herself. Hopefully she will come around soon.

Thank you :) That helps. Really.

so it was a power struggle , and you read her the riot act. no she has the power she wanted but never had, and you have none. time to accept this. its not going to change. what you can do is gain back her love. to do this you must treat her now as a equal. an adult. may be hard for you being that she will always seem lick your baby to you but the power war is over now. time to move into the next stage of your children's life. when they leave the nest and become responsible adults. at this point they have to learn their own mistakes, you cant do it for them. help them if they ask , but let them run their life. acceptance is the key back to her, love and acceptance is all you can do at the moment. give her some time, don't ever treat her as a child that will only piss her off. remember holidays and her birthday. treat her now like the way you want to be treated. thats the best you can do. GOOD LUCK

This is somewhat unusual. Any idea what brought this on??

Did anything happen between the two of you, maybe something in the past, that could have brought this on? Sounds like you're already doing everything you can. Maybe she just needs time.

Hi there :) The only things I can really think of that brought this on is that she does not get along with my husband - my kids step dad - they have wanted me to leave him for the last 5 years. Well, he and I did have some bumps in the road but I ultimately decided to try to make my marriage work. I love my kids dearly, however, at the end of the day, my kids are going to grow up and move out and then I will have potentially lost the love of my life. I do believe this man is my mate. He is good to me. We have our issues but for the most part we get along very well. Other things that I can think of off hand are that we are both power driven, and controlling, She also says I am overwhelming. I really dont see it, but its her eyes that see me. I remember the days leading up to her moving out she would seemingly taunt me by talking to her brother - in the same room as me - by saying yay i can now stay out as late as i want to. and im sure she said other stuff but that was a big one. she is a petite, cute little thing... I dont want anything happening to her. Anyway, I am just rambling a bit now. I am just going to give her space and time and hope she comes around.

I also have adult children who have moved out of the home and moved into their lives. Communication is infrequent, but I realize they are busy - 22yo son is in the USAF, 25yo daughter is married and in grad schoool.

Whenever I get all anxious with those "they don't love my anymore" insecurities, I remind myself that it isnt about how much they love me, but rather how much I love them and how I show that love to them.

I realize your situation is different, but perhaps this thought may offer you comfort.

I am praying for you as well.

I had exactly the opposite situation, my mother said she wanted nothing to do with me. After more than a decade I have healing and a better understanding of what caused my mother to behave that way.

When I read your post I prayed for guidance, that there might be some small thing I can share to help you and your daughter. God answered with two things.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Prov 3:5

And this article https://bit.ly/2waRpAH came up first in my google search about estrainged children.

Some things take time, so take a breath and be still. And do give us an update on how you are doing so we can pray more specifically for your needs and those of your daughter. My physical therapist says that's my strength, praying for people.

Just checking in; how are things going with your daughter?

Thank you all for your prayers and thinking of me :) it makes me happy. dzsmom... My daughter and I have not talked in at least a week. It is a weird feeling to have relief? No more arguing. Of course I miss her but the relief is great too.

I don't have experience with this but it sounds extremely painful. She's at a volatile age, lots of growing and changing going on for her. I don't know your history with your daughter but maybe you could let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs you and hopefully she will come around soon. Do you think her therapy had anything to do with it?

I went through this with my daughter who was much older. She would attack me viciously even in public, in front of family, her children, you name it. I finally just distanced myself. No phone calls, no communication. Everything went through her father. Eventually we were forced to be together for a party. I took something for anxiety, and just kept calm and polite. For whatever reason that seemed to bridge a gap. Things are not great but we are on better footing. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. Send her cards on her birthday, little notes that say she's loved if you want, but keep your distance until she's ready to make a different move.

Thank you Littlefeather... That is exactly what I am doing. It is so hard but I have to. She and I have the same type of controlling personality and I am sure that is why we have such a hard time getting along. She is growing up, finding her place in the world, and leaving me behind. It is and has always been a struggle for me to realize that not everything is about me. This is tough. Anyway, yes I will send her birthday, Christmas and Easter cards. Keep my space - for my own well being and her happiness. Fingers crossed she will talk to me again - on her own will.