do the two of you have alot in common, do something you both enjoy and try and get them to open up, maybe that will work for them,

If you want to end the friendship, then do it! I know I'd rather someone be honest with me than hang around out of pity.

I know it's a tough situation because I'm sure you're afraid of hurting this person's feelings. But it doesn't always feel so good to be the bigger person..

Hugs

That's good advice, except this person has isolated them self from everyone. Another thing about the friendship that hurts me, is he doesn't even want to hear about when I'm not feeling well.

true jeccles...

Been there, done that. It is a horrible position to be in.

For me, I just continue to be there and support them any way I can. I try to encourage them in their successes and be there for support when they fall short. My skills are limited in being able to help so I also recommend seeing a therapist to help. Good luck.

There is a reason for mental health professionals .. they get paid either way .. whether the patient lets them talk to them or support them or not.

I say let a professional take over this person's mental health care .. because you are in a game where you cannot win.

That this person "doesn't have anyone else to go to" is by YOUR design .. as long as he has you, he doesn't need anyone else.

Imagine if this person were "interviewing" to become your friend. From what you have said, here is how I see him approaching you:

I want a couple friends, no more. I want all conversations to be about the fact that I have needs, but I don't want to go into any detail or share more than that with you. And by all means, I have no time for listening to your needs.

Would he have passed your "interview"?

to be honest with you and you might not like my response. I had a friend who did the same thing and eventually it put alot on me when I needed to get through my own things. I tried being open with her and told her what she was doing was not helping me as I am trying to help myself. Eventually 2 years later I ended it because it got overwhelming the help she needed.

Well, as depressed as your friend says she is, she apparently doesn't want help. If she isn't willing to help herself get better, there is little you can do. I can understand you wanting to end the friendship, because it has to be incredibly difficult to listen to her complain about her depression every day, yet refuse your help. I hope you can get it sorted out soon.

People own their own actions. So whatever happens to them to make them FEEL a certain way, that may not be in their control. But what they physically DO about it is entirely within their control. So you severing a friendship may well make them feel worse. But their response is entirely down to them. So don't feel any guilt about how they feel, because that can't be helped. What they do, as a result, is down to themselves.

You would be doing something that would HELP your own well-being, which is in your control. If you maintain the friendship, and they continue to say and do things that make you feel a certain way, that's partially down to you enabling that by being there. But if you sever the friendship, maybe even temporarily, then that's something you do to make them see that it's not OK for them to bring about those emotions in you. So maybe it will serve as a shot in their arm to perhaps try alter the way they are being.

Ultimately, for our own well-being, we have to put ourselves first in certain situations. I think this is one of them. Only you know if it would be healthier for you or not to break away from this friendship. But then when you use the term 'friendship' you would think that they would open up to you and vice versa. They aren't doing that.

I think deep down you will already know. Your conscience making you feel this way just confirms that you're a nice person.

I knew someone like that once. I eventually had to end the friendship because it was literally making me crazy. I couldn't deal with it. But every situation is different. Do what is best for you.

You are not responsible for anyone but yourself.

I understand..... because I am one of those people.

I've been in a similar situation, except it was with a family member, so I understand the mix of feelings you're experiencing. When people are as resistant to help as your friend sounds, there's not much you can do. I know you must care about this person but, from my own experience, there are times when you need to distance yourself...and this sounds like one of those times. It doesn't mean your abandoning the person, or that you wish them ill. But when someone is so resistant it can become a huge drain, and they can end up dragging you down with them.

Your friend may be using you as an emotional crutch, so distancing yourself may not only be healthy for you, but it can possibly help them to start being more emotionally self-sufficient. I wish you all the best with this situation.

Thank you everyone for your responses =)

And Stevey...I wanted to give you a hug for yours, but since you profile is private the best I can do is hug you here...

(((HUGS)))