Yes, absolutely, depression makes people just want to be left a lone. She will be back when she's ready. As long as you have seen her or know where she is, that is encouraging.

When I get depressed I stop answering my phone and facebook, etc. I don't know why that is but it certainly happens to me when I'm depressed.

Thank you so much for your insight. I just thought 8 months was so long that we would never hear from her again.

I sometimes go for years, withdrawing more and more and hiding. My good friends are amazing, and when I creep out of my dark cave they're always waiting for me. I think it can be hard to know what to do. Do you keep calling in the hope they will respond? Tricky, because for me it felt like more pressure than I could handle. But .......... if they DON'T call, I get paranoid that they're all fed up with me and will never call again. My wise friends leave phone messages or emails saying they're thinking of me and they'll be in touch when I'm feeling better. Your friend is so lucky to have someone as sensitive as you.

Yeah, I get that way too. Matter of fact, I won't leave my house when I am like that. As Juice said, a mixture of paranoia and pressure. I think leaving messages is a good idea. Just let her know you are there when she feels better.

Yeah, I get that way too. Matter of fact, I won't leave my house when I am like that. As Juice said, a mixture of paranoia and pressure. I think leaving messages is a good idea. Just let her know you are there when she feels better.

Juice and ZAZAS are right. Just doing things that let your friend know that you're thinking of her and here for her can really help.

Well, my question to you is Did she tell you she was going through a bought of depression or is that your assumption?
It could be depression, our she could be in an abusive relationship, our maybe she's had a family issue and has decided not to interact with them and by extension people who are friendly with them. Or, one of a billion other different reasons.
You won't know until she tells you, if she chooses to. Have you stopped by? Art the end of the day, an email,a hand written card, a note to say I'm here when you're ready is the only thing you can do until you know.

She is not in an abusive situation. She's supposedly happily married. We wanted to drive to where she lives but its a distance and she lives in a gated community and if she doesnt answer the phone, the gate keeper wont let us in, I have left various messages, others have sent cards and notes. No response. We think this is highly unusual for her as this never happened before. Why her husband hasnt notified her sister is a mystery to us. We are all blaming ourselves at this point saying we did something wrong, What else can we think ? We do know she's not happy where she lives. Its a retirement community and has not been able to make any friends although her husband has. He's social she is not. But even that doesnt explain why she's ignoring all of us.

Yeah at this point if I was her family I would be tempted to enact a more thorough investigation. An abusive husband could develop in 8 months and certainly isolating is one of an abuser's control tactics. Maybe you could get into the community somehow?

IF she had only said she was depressed or SOMETHING. It does seem really weird.

wow.... Yes its very natural for someone in depression or in an abusive relationship to hybernate.. I know I do it and I can do it for months on end.... I dont think I have ever gone that long before though.. I have children and work so now I only do it for a few days at a time...
This seems really strange and then she ignored her sister in the store? Very strange.. I agree with everyone else.. I think I would force my way into seeing what is a matter with her..
I sure hope she is ok..... Please let us know if you find out anything..

I spoke to someone today who has had a similar experience with a friend. She said its a nervous breakdown. This person hasnt talked to her friends in 2 years and says she's just fine - goes to work like nothing is wrong. it all started when her son was very ill in the hospital and I guess the stress was just too much, With my friend, it was similar. Her husband was in hospital and then rehab for 3 months and she was there 24/7. Her ignoring us happened just after he got home but maybe she's right- its a nervous breakdown not depression.

Again, thank you all for responding to me.