So, I thought that the people around me cared, and I really wanted to believe that. I knew that they didn't. They just thought I was dramatic and the only reason that they keep me around is so I don't take my own life. I am a pity friend. They pity me. But the thing is, I know they have problems of their own. I do, but then I begin to say how I am going to down my entire bottle of anti-depressants, and there is nothing from them. 

On the bus today, I was sitting by my friend and just saying how much I wanted to die, and that I am scared to be left alone at my house becuase of the things I will do. There was no reaction. Thing is, I forgot that the girl sitting right infront of me lived right next to me. While walking home from the bus, she normally goes a different route, but today she walked right behind me. She walked up next to me and just said how she heard what I was saying and that it is not worth it to hurt yourself or overdose. She has been through those things and she knows how bad it sucks, but it isn't worth it. All I got from that is someone, who does not even know my name kind of cares more about me then my so called friends. I need someone like her, and I may have found it. She told me that if I am ever in a dump again, of which I am, that I can just come over to her house. 

But now I am home alone and broken. I don't remember her name and I can't just go to her house not even knowing her name. I don't know what to do. I tell everyone how life is so worth living and that it gets better, but I can't even believe it myself. I know that like only two of you will read this so it doesn't even really matter of what I say, but I am here. I am broken. I don't want to be alive any more but I am forced to be.