Hello, I am inspired by your strength to seek support and to continue to grow stronger daily. Sometimes we may have great people in our lives and still don’t understand why we feel lonely or down. I’m glad that you have a wonderful boyfriend and friends. Sometimes a person can long for more in life such as, to achieve more goals, feel happy, eliminate stress or depression. It sounds like you have to ask yourself as we all sometimes do why do I feel this way or what’s missing?. For example, you reached out for support when you need to talk, you can maybe work on some goals if this is it, have more one on one time with your boyfriend and have date nights. Please know that this that you have been feeling is not you and you are not a burden. I feel you may be under some stress or in search of something in your life. Support and to be around others is something that you need to do regularly to function well. Also, plan activities. I see you may need to find what you enjoy or discover what you do well. Yes, you are good at things. Yes, you do deserve to live and your life is worth the fight. I know you have more meaning to others more than you may know. When you go through things its hard to see what you add to others lives. Yes, you add to others lives but can’t see it now because of how you feel. I would like for you to please call anytime the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Also, you can visit the website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Continue to stay around friends and others for support. Stay away from anything that would harm you or ask others to remove it. Make sure you maintain a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep to help. Establish some healthy coping skills. Continue to post if you need it. Stay encouraged!

I understand how you feel. You're not alone. My grief counselor asked me today to write down 3 positive things i do a day. Getting dressed is an accomplishment. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Here for you if you need anything.

hugs and love to you, friend. i know those feelings well. are you seeing a professional yet? maybe look into that because it can be very helpful.

Hi all! Thank you so much for lovely comments. I am now seeing a therapist to work on my depression. I had my first meeting and it seemed like it will be helpful to me over a long run.

I can tell you, you add a lot to peoples life. Don't give up

Let us applaud your cowardice as it's keeping you alive, but next let's get you to a doctor. What you've got is a cluster that's totally textbook, and that they can make go away. OOOOooh bliss. They can make the feelings go away.

If you take a step back from your emotions you can see that they are irrational. For example the idea of not deserving to live. Mass murderers don't deserve to live. Hitler doesn't deserve to live. Did you do something of that order of crime?

If you believe in God, then take a step back and ask yourself what He sees when he looks down upon the earth. He sees all the good and all the bad. If He had to rank you, where do you think He would put you? THAT'S you being rational. the feelings you are having currently are a biochemical cockup in your system that needs a reboot.

You need a defrag and a reboot. Your error messages are errors themselves. :) So see the doctor and start the process of getting yourself sorted. :) This awful awful stuff and these awful awful feelings can be made to go away.