I dont really know where to begin with this.. the past two weeks but this week especially has been one hell of a roller coaster, very emotional, and I cant tell you how many times I've cried this week.. its been very rough, like I really thought something bad was going to happen.. its been very hard to function, especially at work and getting out of bed yesterday was extremely difficult.. however yesterday something happened.. i was on my lunch break and I was having a rough moment, my really good friend came out (she knows what's been happening) and asked if I called my mum but I said no.. she told me I need to and that If I didnt she would do it for me.. I just broke down, my mum and I have a good relationship and are close but talking about this with her I find to be very difficult.. but anyways so I did and I told her and she said she would come get me at work, and take me to her work so I could talk to someone. She is actually an addictions counselor for interior health. So the next thing I had to do was tell my boss about this, now that was very hard for me to do.. however she is was understanding about it and I was able to leave. So I went to my mums work and I met with an in take (who is stand in counselor till I can get a counselor ) who my mum knows and I got to talk with him and honestly I balled and cried my eyes out as I talked with him.. it honestly felt so nice to be able to let everything out.. I'm meeting him again next week on friday, and Saturday I'm going to the walk in clinic with my mum and getting meds. I was on meds before but than my doctor left and i ran out and i couldnt afford it anymore so i cut cold turkey.. so today was the first day I didnt feel like crying, however I did have a brief moment where a negative thought came and I wanted to cry.. I know this isnt going to be easy but I'm going try and take my life back..