Don't be to harsh on yourself, many people go through similar things fir various reasons. Its wise you made an appointment with your doctor who can test hormones and thyroid and wise you are checking with a psychiatrist in case it is something like manic depressive disorder. Good luck and be kind to yourself, you have a lot to look forward to

Oh, I already know I have BiPolar. But the depression side of BP can be so difficult to deal with sometimes. I feel so ungrateful and can't see the good things in my life because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. I hate this feeling. I want to enjoy what I have before I lose it. Thank you for your kind words.

Don't beat yourself up. Depression is an illness, not an attitude issue. I have a very good life overall, but still have days when I am in the gutter with depression. It's a chemical imbalance, not pessimism. Make sure you are on the right medication, and do your best to manage your symptoms by journaling, doing things that you normally would enjoy, talking to people, etc.

Its hard to be motivated to do anything when we are depressed. I thought motivation came before action but I am told it is the opposite - act and the motivation to do more will follow. Not sure how far that tallies, I suppose it depends on how depressed you are. And apathy. Yes apathy is a big hurdle to challenge

Maybe think of one thing you'd like to do? Start from there and see where that takes you? Setting up appointments again is good, therapy can be a real antidote to depression and can help us come up with solutions for getting out of that rut.

Be kind to yourself in the meantime. Life changes. Hopefully that cloud can be lifted and soon xx

I feel the same way, I can join in the whining. I CANNOT change my thinking, I want to feel good, the harder I try the more frustrated I get, I am LAZY, laying on the couch watching reruns of dr. phil and judge judy, eating COCO puffs of all things, how friggin sad and pathetic. I need a shrink, but don't have the correct insurance, I have a psychiatrist provided by the county that just does med checks, but the state I live in is overcrowded and overwrought with needy people. So it is depressing to ask for help.

Could this be a little bit of an empty nest syndrome? After spending so many years being so busy with kids and kids stuff that you lost touch with yourself and now don't know what to do? It's really hard. Don't beat yourself up over it; you just might need a little help to get you going again.

Definitely not empty nest syndrome. Just a dull depression. Thanks for all your responses. Got an appointment with pdoc and therapist at the end of August. I'm just taking it easy until then.

Thanks for opening up and sharing your story. Continue to be encouraged, count your blessings, simple exercise, enjoy the creation around you, and share your load with others that are reliable. Read autobiographies. I pray when I'm down and out because there are some feelings and dark times that only God can assist with. Take care and God bless moving forward. Enjoy a full life.