Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
As precious as it is, it is also the biggest bully. I'm waiting until I'm out of this depressed haze I'm in. Waiting for my life to start. I'm 46 and feel like I'm starting over for the third or fourth time. A little wiser, says my sponsor. I have a wife and a degree this time. But the angry voices in my head - the automatic negative message mp3, keeps saying "you have nothing to offer" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
It's exhausting.
I wake up tired. I wake up not wanting to wake up. It's just a fucking feeling. they're just fucking thoughts. Reality is only real in this moment. when then do i think I would feel better if I had money? If I was an important community figure? If I had kids of my own or if the ones I helped raise had respect for me? I hate knowing the ANT is a bunch of lies, but believing it anyway. I hate that my mind could just as easily interpret my reality with an optimistic positive spin but chooses misery.
I hate suffering. Yet I identify with it. I painted a picture of a ghost and am now scared of it.
It's exhausting.
I wake up tired. I wake up not wanting to wake up. It's just a fucking feeling. they're just fucking thoughts. Reality is only real in this moment. when then do i think I would feel better if I had money? If I was an important community figure? If I had kids of my own or if the ones I helped raise had respect for me? I hate knowing the ANT is a bunch of lies, but believing it anyway. I hate that my mind could just as easily interpret my reality with an optimistic positive spin but chooses misery.
I hate suffering. Yet I identify with it. I painted a picture of a ghost and am now scared of it.
this is true, but in this moment, we can set up for the next one, and make its reality better than the last one
"I hate that my mind could just as easily interpret my reality with an optimistic positive spin but chooses misery. "
it chooses misery because thats what it knows... you need to teach it happiness
how? i dont really know... but the first step is retraining your brain to see the good instead of the bad
keep in mind that everything has a good and a bad side to it... and many forces train our minds to always see the bad in things
it takes hard work and dedication, but if you can train yourself to spot when youre seeing the bad, you can force yourself to see 2 good things for every 1 bad you saw... and after a while, it will become habit to see the good in things more often, and that will lead to a better life in general
i hope this has made sense and i hope it helps
and i wish i could paint so well it scared me :)