Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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DepressedRecluse 08/25/2011

OK...so as far as I think, I have my depression pretty well under control. Except for when I am at home, which has been this past summer. See, I decided to take the summer off from school to work on my relationship with my husband. Thing is nothing in our relationship has changed. Actually, I think it has gotten worse. He lost his job in January. Then his brother's health declined, and he spent most of his time helping to take care of him until he passed away this past june. I admire him for doing that, but I think he's sunken into a depression of his own, and won't admit it. He is an addict. And the last time he used was in March. He had a beer last month, but I think my reaction to his drinking, made him not continue to drink, but he's still fighting something. All he does is watch TV, watch movies, and play poker online. I see him do nothing, and it literally drains all my energy, and I don't want to do anything. I think that his depression, is contagious and exasperates my depression. Does that make sense? Or am I just making excuses for my own depression. I start school and work next week, but I can't seem to get my second wind if you know what I mean. Another problem I have, is that I am and we are overweight. I want to get in shape but he seems to care less about it. He is a great cook (he's african american) and when he does manage to cook a meal, I can't help but overeat. Then I get mad, and blame him for my weight and depression. Is that fair? or is it at least realistic. Is depression contagious? Or am I just depressed myself and trying to blame it on him. I'm so confused. If I get out of the house, I do seem to feel better. But it's just so hard to get out of the house in the first place.

Please help...

Depressed Recluse

deleted_user 08/25/2011

I think depression can be contaigous in the fact if your spending most all your time around someone is themselves depressed it is bound to affect you as well. It sounds like there are alot of things individually and as a couple you are trying to muddle through. Have you thought about some kind of couples counseling? It might force you both to just lay all your feelings out in the open. Another thing to think about is what you were saying about your weight. I know this sounds simple, but try going for a walk either by yourself or with your husband. It'll get you out of the house as well as help with your weight. I have a similar problem in the fact I don't work right now and so I feel really cooped up sometimes so every nice we get my bf and make sure to go out for a walk, we usually do about five miles. It helps with the reclusive feeling alot, plus gives us a chance to just talk.

deleted_user 08/26/2011

It is very hard to constantly be around negative and depressing energy. It is even harder when you're so deep into it, you don't SEE that you're caught up in it. But you do.

But because your husband doesn't, try to take the first step. It's not easy to take control of everything but if you are able, give it a shot. There are many things you can do to get out of the funk. One thing is enough to start with. Take over the cooking. Reason it might be the best to start with is cause it might be hard to convince your husband to take walks with you but it might be easier with meals. Throw out or give away all your unhealthy food, and start cooking healthy, light food. Or try to incorporate your unhealthy foods in small doses as snacks or sides until you run out. You can precook a lot on the weekend, which you can reheat or prepare later during the week. You might feel up to your neck in cooking, but if you stick to it, your body will thank you and you will feel it on the outside sooner than you think. It's just an idea.

Also, men love food. ALL men love food. Skinny men, fat men, fit men all love to eat and they will always make you eat and feel fat haha.

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