Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
What would you do?
Before I start my question, it is not directly related to the depression I suffer from, except for one thing. As part of my depression I have pushed away any support I have to ask this kind of question. I have been a member of this community under this and another name for years, i just stay away often because hearing other stories can be a very strong trigger. I have a huge sense of empathy, which has brought me into my current situation.
I have had the same girlfriend for around two years. She came to me damaged. Stories of abuse and drug abuse. I brought her into a new home with my son and me because she was running from something severe and frightening.
Over the years I have learned she is a habitual liar and user. I had no idea how bad until the past couple of weeks. I was tipped off while she has been away that she intended on targeting my son for identity theft and is in fact being investigated for doing that against somebody else.
She left almost everything she owns here, and I circled the wagons. Started looking at what was here and found that she forged my sons signature and more to gain government benefits. I have taken my son and reported that to SSI. I keep finding evidence of other agencies she has defrauded including the salvation army with fake documents.
I want strongly to go for the jugular (legally) and report her to every agency and person forged.
Am I just being vengeful? I figure if she is in prison she can't go after my son/ I avoid 'fights' because it is in my nature to act this way. I compromise and forgive always. I do mean always. But now I find myself facing the ugly side of myself, that wants blood, and it seems to be necessary to defend my son and myself. Am I going to far hitting for crimes not related my son in order to get her locked up to protect him? There are people in need not getting these money's she took because she lied. Am I just justifying my anger?
I put up with her deception for a long time because of promise I made to God myself, not to leave her worse than I found her. She left, I can't keep that promise, can I?
I also hear rumors that she plans on coming to my house when I am at work with a bunch of guys to get her stuff. I consider that a home invasion since I have no claim to her stuff and would help her load up. A bunch of strangers going through my stuff and my sons stuff, not sitting well with me. BTW, she is on the lease, even though she hasn't paid any bills for quite some time. Drugs seem to be more important.
Would you go for the throat? What would you do?
Before I start my question, it is not directly related to the depression I suffer from, except for one thing. As part of my depression I have pushed away any support I have to ask this kind of question. I have been a member of this community under this and another name for years, i just stay away often because hearing other stories can be a very strong trigger. I have a huge sense of empathy, which has brought me into my current situation.
I have had the same girlfriend for around two years. She came to me damaged. Stories of abuse and drug abuse. I brought her into a new home with my son and me because she was running from something severe and frightening.
Over the years I have learned she is a habitual liar and user. I had no idea how bad until the past couple of weeks. I was tipped off while she has been away that she intended on targeting my son for identity theft and is in fact being investigated for doing that against somebody else.
She left almost everything she owns here, and I circled the wagons. Started looking at what was here and found that she forged my sons signature and more to gain government benefits. I have taken my son and reported that to SSI. I keep finding evidence of other agencies she has defrauded including the salvation army with fake documents.
I want strongly to go for the jugular (legally) and report her to every agency and person forged.
Am I just being vengeful? I figure if she is in prison she can't go after my son/ I avoid 'fights' because it is in my nature to act this way. I compromise and forgive always. I do mean always. But now I find myself facing the ugly side of myself, that wants blood, and it seems to be necessary to defend my son and myself. Am I going to far hitting for crimes not related my son in order to get her locked up to protect him? There are people in need not getting these money's she took because she lied. Am I just justifying my anger?
I put up with her deception for a long time because of promise I made to God myself, not to leave her worse than I found her. She left, I can't keep that promise, can I?
I also hear rumors that she plans on coming to my house when I am at work with a bunch of guys to get her stuff. I consider that a home invasion since I have no claim to her stuff and would help her load up. A bunch of strangers going through my stuff and my sons stuff, not sitting well with me. BTW, she is on the lease, even though she hasn't paid any bills for quite some time. Drugs seem to be more important.
Would you go for the throat? What would you do?
I think I would go straight to the police. Oh, .... and secure your house. If you fear revenge .. tell that to the police.
No proof of rent pmt, and the law can/will remove them from your property at your request.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_bond
looks like a Canadian thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restraining_order
better fits your situation.
GBU
D
1. Talk to the police; report possible ID theft; see about getting a restraining order
2. Try to evict her/get her name off of the lease. If you can evict her, change the locks immediately.
3. If you cannot evict her, consider moving.
4. Get a PO Box that she will not know about and have all important mail sent there.
5. Follow the steps to protect your ID. Here's a helpful link: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/topics/identity-theft
There are ID Theft prevention programs where you can set it up to receive text messages or email alerts any time your or your child's info is used to try to open an account. It is a very helpful service. You can also set it up where in order to open any new accounts, you have to provide extra information that only you will know. Check it out. Don't allow yourself or your child to be a victim.
1. Change all passwords just in case she figured them out or has access to your voicemail or online accounts or email accounts, etc.
2. Get new PINS and CC's (new CC numbers) for all financial accounts.
3. Consider getting a second cell phone/cell phone number and changing all contacts over to new number - that she does NOT have or know about.
4. You might want to get a safe deposit lock box (at most banks) and keeping important items there until you are rid of her. Perhaps even keeping that second cell phone in the lock box - you can check those voice mails remotely from another phone so she's none the wiser.