Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I don't know what else to do. I guess I'm just venting. It's so hard trying to write out all of my thoughts because there are so many and too many issues going on with me. I don't even know where to start. Basically, I'm not in a good place...still. I never will be. Depression will follow me wherever I go I life and I can't break free from it. It all comes down to me not deserving to be happy or live. I'll never deserve these tings. I really want to just die. I keep thinking that there were so many instances in my past when I could have died, and I just wish I would have died then. There is no point in me living. My life is over. I can't revive it.I don't want to try anymore because I've done that and I failed at that too. I can try all I want, but nothing will change unless it's time for it to change. I don't want to live that way. My life will always be dependent on what someone else wants for me or what someone else feels is best for me. I have no control, no power. I can't even feel free to be me or who I'd like to be. I'll never in my life gain any confidence. That's gone. I'll ever have esteem to feel like I can improve or do better. I know someone out there knows the real me, so why should I even bother trying to change? It's all just a mess, and there' no way I can come out of this and be alright. I wish for death to come so badly. I can't take it. I literally have no life, and so many people are wrapped up in my business it's hard to do anything. I have no personal life. Everyone knows everything. What I like, don't like, what I'm jealous of, etc. I miss thee days when I was free. I'd give anything to go back to that point. But, the truth is I'm never coming back. I've tried God, thinking positive, everything, nothing helps. I can't get meds, don't deserve help. I deserve to be without anyone and any help. Why keep living. I'm very suicidal right now, but doubt if I'll follow through with anything. I want to die, but I just want to know that my loved ones will be okay. I don't think it will be that big of a deal if I'm gone. I could never matter to anyone because people make mistakes all the time, but if they are loved, then they are at least given a chance to prove they could be different. No one wants that from me. It's hard to like someone like me. I don't know how to do anything. I can't love like every one else can, I'm just crazy, and I hate myself. I wish I could have been different. I wish people didn't see me as someone that's crazy and needs help. I will always hate myself, hate my life, and really I just hope that I die soon.Why should a person like me live? It hurts too bad being here and living with who I am. I don't want to do it anymore.
I can be your friend. I do not know anything about you and I have no assumptions.
and everyone makes mistakes - there are there that we can learn from them.
and I do have the feeling that people know a lot of me and talk all the time about me. But this is not true.!
I know that we are just strangers on a webpage, but connections can be made.
Take a step back, as hard as it may be and just take a breath. (I know it's lame.) I know you have probably heard all of the common phrases that people who don't understand tend to use on people like us, so I won't repeat them for the thousandth time.
I can try to help you based on my personal experience and battle with depression. First, I have been struggling since I was about 13, diagnosed and started treatment at 18. I have been going through this for over 17 years now. The majority of my life has been the rollercoaster of emotions that come from depression. You are obviously in one of the "lower" points right now. One where you are not seeing any hope at all.
If you would like feel free to message me.
Oh, and erib...it's hard to hear that someone can fight something as awful as depression for 17 years! My heart goes out to you. I hope that someday you will be free, and be happy, truly happy in life.
Thanks again to both of you who responded.