Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am having a really hard time right now. I have had depression and anxiety for about 4 years now, but this is THE WORST it has ever been. Here is the background of my life. I had a fairly normal childhood, but when I was sick my mom found out she had cancer. She is still around today and I am 24 now, but she is getting more and more sick everyday. This is one of the hardest things for me. Also, I got married 8 months ago and for the first time moved away from home. I also finished my schooling right before my wedding and thought that I would get a job. I am a trained teacher and I can't get a job in my field in the city where I am living, but my husband is doing his schooling here and I don't want to leave him. I just started a new job about a month ago as a nanny and I HATE it. I am so bored all day, because there is no interaction, as the baby is only a year old. I have been a nanny before and it wasn't bad, but this is just crazy hours. I am with this baby more than his mom is, and I'm not even making half of what I would make as a teacher. Because my husband is a student I need to work, but it is incredibly hard for me. I am often working 14 hour days. For the past 2 weeks or so I have been having terrible thoughts that make me want to make everything end. I can't bear to see my husband hurt though, and I feel stuck. When I went to see a doctor today, he just put me on Prozac and got me out of there as quick as he could. I wasn't even there for 5 minutes. I need help now, I feel like I can't even wait for another day for it. My husband tries to help, but there's only so much he can do.
What can I do? I just really needed to rant.
What can I do? I just really needed to rant.
Random idea, sorry if they have all occured to you already.
Other idea: make a plan with your husband that has a timeline for when you can move to an area where you can get a job. Sometimes knowing WHEN things will change is almost as good as them actually changing!
I've also never heard of a one year old that didn't need interaction and play. Plus the child is one there's a whole shit load of free developmentally appropriate things in even small towns that would be good for you ad the kid.
Call the dr's office and ask for referrals to a councelor and a pdoc and get the help you need. GP's aren't often good at dealing w depression cause it takes time and expertise.
As for your mom why not enjoy the time you have with her while you can instead of wasting it worrying about the time you won't have in the future?
Regarding your teaching. Yes, if's a fact that student enrollment is dropping in our province, but with all the Ministry initiatives that are going on and classroom teachers being pulled out to attend more and more often, you could likely make a good wage just substitute teaching alone. Also, as a qualified teacher you'd be paid at a higher rate than an unqualified, AND schools prefer to have a qualified supply in the classrooms rather than an unqualified any day.
Have you checked the application requirements with the board or boards in your area (both English AND Catholic public, as well as any private institutions)? Sometimes you don't need to apply through the board, but apply directly to the schools.
Are you P/J/I/S or do you have multiple disciplines?
All the best to you.
Give the Prozac some time to work. That takes several weeks to take effect, so know that you will feel some relief in a while. Try to not have those bad thoughts, knowing that soon the Prozac will work. That will be difficult, but you know you will have relief coming.
Get out a pen and paper and start writing out your choices. Such as, relaxing a bit until the Prozac works. Looking for another job...list all of your opportunities. List the jobs in the order in which you want to persue them. Consider seeing a counselor to help you deal with the depression, write that on your list. Having a list is helpful because you can then cross off what you have accomplished, which is always a good feeling.
I think you have had a lot of changes in a short period of time and that is so overwhelming. You are obviously able to do well since you finished school. So you can probably persue another job. It'll take time, but you can do it. Be easier on yourself. You're ok.
When you are with the baby, you have time to make your lists of jobs to hunt for, and to call your mom and also to call your husband. Relax while you take care of the baby. That can be a fun time too. You can handle these things, just relax your mind. The Prozac will kick in soon.
Keep writing to us to let us know how you are doing. You are handling a lot right now. We care about you. It's good to rant on DS. We all do that. Keep us informed, ok?
You can enjoy your mom even as far away as she is. You have internet and skype is free. Hand written letters are lovely and smething to have when she's gone. Etc etc etc.
I sympathise with your story but you didn't ask for sympathy you asked for help. There are things yet that you can do so stop telling yourself there aren't if you truly want things to change.