Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I don't know what is happening, but I feel great physically. I can attribute that to working out almost every day. Maybe I feel less down because I actually am starting to feel better about me in some way. I still feel crushed, but somehow I can actually cope.
It has been weird. That I can say. I finally got closure in a few places. My nephew's funeral after party actually turned out to be a joyous event. We laughed and cried about things he did. Things he said. It was a great send off for a great person. I miss him, but he brought us joy even after he left the party.
I'm still losing my kids. Somehow I don't feel as down about it. It still feels soulcrushing, but I feel I can cope. Nothing will take that away, but I have to live on no matter what. I don't want to give up anymore. I spent the last decade giving up.
I have shamed my friends that sacrificed themselves for me in Iraq. Why give your life for somebody who isn't going to appreciate it? I let them down. I spent more time feeling sorry for myself and mourning them than I did living for them. Being happy for them.
God knows they can't bring that joy to their family anymore. It's up to me to make their sacrifice worth something. The things I did in their name make me feel ashamed of myself. I spent so many years down and telling myself and everybody that I couldn't cope with their loss and I don't deserve it, I have made them look bad. It's not their fault. I can only aspire to be half as selfless as they were.
I guess I have a lot to live for. Even though most of those reasons are gone from me, it doesn't mean I need to give up and be selfish. Without them, my life would serve no purpose. I'm glad I have them. I'm glad I had them. They will always mean more to me than anything.
I have actually made strides. The biggest thing is that I can feel again for the first time since Iraq. It hurts. Worse than anything I've ever experienced, but I feel it. I felt happy in that time. I actually felt it. It feels good to be able to feel something again. Even if that is immense sadness. I forgot how to live. I now know how again. My feelings will be my guide. My heart is no longer numb. My weight has lifted. I am me again. Problems or not. I finally feel like me again.
It has been weird. That I can say. I finally got closure in a few places. My nephew's funeral after party actually turned out to be a joyous event. We laughed and cried about things he did. Things he said. It was a great send off for a great person. I miss him, but he brought us joy even after he left the party.
I'm still losing my kids. Somehow I don't feel as down about it. It still feels soulcrushing, but I feel I can cope. Nothing will take that away, but I have to live on no matter what. I don't want to give up anymore. I spent the last decade giving up.
I have shamed my friends that sacrificed themselves for me in Iraq. Why give your life for somebody who isn't going to appreciate it? I let them down. I spent more time feeling sorry for myself and mourning them than I did living for them. Being happy for them.
God knows they can't bring that joy to their family anymore. It's up to me to make their sacrifice worth something. The things I did in their name make me feel ashamed of myself. I spent so many years down and telling myself and everybody that I couldn't cope with their loss and I don't deserve it, I have made them look bad. It's not their fault. I can only aspire to be half as selfless as they were.
I guess I have a lot to live for. Even though most of those reasons are gone from me, it doesn't mean I need to give up and be selfish. Without them, my life would serve no purpose. I'm glad I have them. I'm glad I had them. They will always mean more to me than anything.
I have actually made strides. The biggest thing is that I can feel again for the first time since Iraq. It hurts. Worse than anything I've ever experienced, but I feel it. I felt happy in that time. I actually felt it. It feels good to be able to feel something again. Even if that is immense sadness. I forgot how to live. I now know how again. My feelings will be my guide. My heart is no longer numb. My weight has lifted. I am me again. Problems or not. I finally feel like me again.
Thank you for your service from the bottom of my heart and also for your positive post. Hugs to you and Gramy, Kimbra
Your job is to keep living every day, and to do everything in your power to live a life of meaning- to you. It's hard to tap into your passion and to know what it is that you want when you are hurting so bad, I know. You are exactly where you need to be right now...recovering from what you have been through takes time, but you will get back into your own soon enough. Sometimes it takes another traumatic event that lets you share your grief with others to get the footing you need to climb out of depression and rebuild your life. You have been through so much and you are doing a great job. Please take it easy on yourself. (((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.