Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well. I don't know how to begin. Over the last month I've lost the love of my life and things just keep getting worse. Three days ago I find out my nephew committed suicide. I can't face my sister. It's already horrible enough for me. I can't watch her complete and utter sorrow for the loss of her own child.
I got news last night that I am for sure losing my kids forever. After years of a chess match that I clearly lost, my children; my only rock left to me, will be gone forever out of my life. I might as well have lost them to death. At least in death they are gone. I don't have to be constantly reminded that my children are out there without their father.
I really don't think life can get much worse for me. I'm sure it can, but I don't think I could ever feel more pure pain and sorrow than I do right now. It won't get better. After the last thing that happened, the pain will never dull. No amount of medication or therapy can explain to me a logical reason why this has happened. At least no reason why it has to be this way.
I thank you all beforehand for any kind comments. I really don't think I will be coming back from this so I probably will not be able to come check this board. I needed to put this somewhere. I can't unload it on the people who know me personally. Why make their life any worse? I don't think they would care much anyways.
No amount of words can express the depth and sharpness of my despair. I now understand how many people get to where they are in their depression. I thought I had seen the worst of it when I was younger. I barely lived through that. That pain is nowhere close to the pain I feel now.
It had its good moments. There are memories I will cherish forever. I assure you (Because I know many of you are probably thinking I'm writing my suicide letter) that it's not what you think. In a way it is like that I suppose.
After I send this and stand up from this computer; I will go inside myself so that I can shield myself from this pain. I will never be the person I was when I thought life was better. When I had my kids. When I was in love. Before I lost so many important people. I never want to feel life again. My heart is dead. Any love I may have had is gone. Any hope for a brighter future extinguished. My soul is free to swim inside the seas of pain and sorrow that my life was. I am numb to the world. I do not think I will ever emerge from this, but if I do; I may try again. I doubt it, but I may. By then I may be too old. Goodbye and thanks for everything.
I got news last night that I am for sure losing my kids forever. After years of a chess match that I clearly lost, my children; my only rock left to me, will be gone forever out of my life. I might as well have lost them to death. At least in death they are gone. I don't have to be constantly reminded that my children are out there without their father.
I really don't think life can get much worse for me. I'm sure it can, but I don't think I could ever feel more pure pain and sorrow than I do right now. It won't get better. After the last thing that happened, the pain will never dull. No amount of medication or therapy can explain to me a logical reason why this has happened. At least no reason why it has to be this way.
I thank you all beforehand for any kind comments. I really don't think I will be coming back from this so I probably will not be able to come check this board. I needed to put this somewhere. I can't unload it on the people who know me personally. Why make their life any worse? I don't think they would care much anyways.
No amount of words can express the depth and sharpness of my despair. I now understand how many people get to where they are in their depression. I thought I had seen the worst of it when I was younger. I barely lived through that. That pain is nowhere close to the pain I feel now.
It had its good moments. There are memories I will cherish forever. I assure you (Because I know many of you are probably thinking I'm writing my suicide letter) that it's not what you think. In a way it is like that I suppose.
After I send this and stand up from this computer; I will go inside myself so that I can shield myself from this pain. I will never be the person I was when I thought life was better. When I had my kids. When I was in love. Before I lost so many important people. I never want to feel life again. My heart is dead. Any love I may have had is gone. Any hope for a brighter future extinguished. My soul is free to swim inside the seas of pain and sorrow that my life was. I am numb to the world. I do not think I will ever emerge from this, but if I do; I may try again. I doubt it, but I may. By then I may be too old. Goodbye and thanks for everything.
I feel the pain you're in. My wife of 14 years wants to separate, and we have two kids as well. Like you, my children are my life, and I can't bear to be a part from them. I've made mistakes and bad decisions that have hurt my wife and have partly driven her to want this, but you cannot give up on your kids. Suicide has run through my thoughts as well, but I cannot deprive my children of their father, they would be devastated (the separation will be hard enough for them). I hope you come back and check this board. You can find support here.