Have you talked to a Therapist about your depression? Have you thought about trying medication for it? I think it's time to forgive yourself for having believed for so long that you were never good enough. Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone who you really love, and that includes you! Have you tried standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself that you are beautiful? I am not talking about physical beauty, because physical beauty fades, but internal beauty lasts forever. I will start you off by telling you that you deserve to feel good about yourself, you are not ugly nor are you pathetic. And yes, you can do whatever you believe you can do. Hugs GB

I just want to say I agree with gramybear ................depreshion ..keepes you in all the negative emotions so it keepes you in feer ...depreshion is all about the negative ...in any situation ...in how you see your self ...as a person ...and even ...for me in how I see my self in the mirror .....if I am more depressed I look in the mirror to fix my hair brus my teach ..ect .....and I look ugly .....but if I am less depressed ..I look in that same mirrior ...and ...I think I don't look to bad at all .....I don't know if it is this way for everyone or just me ....negative thoughts ..are from depreshion ..to ...anything negative is very heavy and keepes you in the past ...keepes you from living in today ...keepes ..you afraid ....and scared ....and what can happen is that when you go into a situation with all that on your shoulders ...you can fail ...but not because ...you would of any way but because of the way you are thinking ....you can go into the same situation ...in a much better frame of mind and do realy good ....because you are not going in there with the crippling fear ..................................................................it is very good that you found your way here ...but since you have been struggling with depreshion for a long time and from how you discribe to me ...how ..you are feeling and thinking ...I belive it would ..be of great help to you ...if you got some help ....so that would include a counclour or phicatrist ...and meds .....going on meds takes a little time to get you on the right med at the right dose so you need to work with your doctor ...to get that right .....once ...that takes effect ....it will make it easer to think strate ....turn dowen the fear ....will be able to help you control the negitive thoughts ...it is not a quick fix ..you do have to do some work ..to ..but it will make it so much easer .....but if you realy ..want to get better .....you need to talk .....any thing ..that has ever hurt you in any way ...your past that you say bothers you ...your mistakes .....and your failures as you call them ..that all has to come out ....we get over loaded ....and all that stuf we can only hold back for so long .....befor it blowers up in our face ....and you need to get it out untill they don't hurt ...and you can put them in the past ware they belong ..........and start living in the present ..one day at a time ...living one day at a time ...is easer ..because you don't get so over welemed ....right dowen what you want to do ...whatever it is ...and if you strick off one thing that is a good day ...and tomorow is always a new day ....if ..you have everything dowen on paper your mind doesent have to work so hard ..making sure it rembered everything ...so it gives the mind time to rest .....I know that my head never shuts up ...and this is one way ..I use ..it help me .....take very good care of your self ...be kind to your self ...God bless

>>I do not take any meds as of right now.

Probably the best solution would be to resume medication ... unless your doctor disagrees.

My past failures and mistakes haunt me every day as well, and after my recent break-up retriggered my PTSD of Abandonment, I sought out not only a therapist for my depression, but they also put me on meds to level myself out. Have you tried therapy, or maybe a priest or pastor? We all have beauty in our own way so do like I have been doing lately when looking in the mirror.....tell yourself that your are a beautiful person and that God has a plan for you. We may not see it right away but as long as we tell ourselves we are worth it and once negative thoughts enter our minds we need to quickly turn those into positive thoughts. :-)

Hang in there......it is time to forgive yourself which is the hardest thing to do but you can do it!!!!

Sounds like you don't know who you are. You are human who has been given the same equipment as everyone else. You have a body. A soul. A mind. You have an imagination. You have a heart. If I told you I buried a million dollars in your back yard , you would immediately go digging for it. Well you have this million dollar value inside you. It's who you really are . The you that knows you are alright just how you are. It who knows better then to keep telling yourself negative things. Lpn school would be awesone! You can do this. It's one year of training . Go for it!

We feel confident when we feel powerful. Being powerful is about gaining skills and abilities, overcoming challenges and knowing we can handle anything. So basically, it is what will come out of your training, not what you need to start. do it.

Precious Heavenly Father Amanda is struggling with controlling negative thoughts about mistakes and failures in her past. It makes her fearful to attempt reaching for new goals. Please take these fears away and replace them with the confidence she needs to accomplish something and feel good about herself. I pray for Amanda in Jesus name. Amen

AMEN........................
IN AGREEMENT WITH SIXPENCE.....................
GBU
DRENA

thankyou all very much. I am going to therapy now and hopefully i will be back on an antidepressant soon.