newdrake, you are not, in any way, shape, or form, weak! Sometimes it takes longer for some of us to heal from the pain of losing someone but there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty. She and your friend are now in a place where they are no longer suffering, and can now look down upon us and make sure we are behaving! As far as your pain, I have heard this so many times about cortisone shots. I had them in my neck and my pain only got worse. I'm sorry that it is messing with your diabetes. You say that in spite of what others tell you about not feeling guilty, please think about what good that guilt is doing you? Is it going to help Sweet Sherri, who I loved with all my heart; and is it going to bring her or your friend back? I think you can answer those questions without my saying anything else. Here are a couple of quotes for you:

1. My life is so much easier on the days when I remember that I can't control everything.

2 We're not always going to understand why something happens, true faith is trusting even when it doesn't make sense. Joel Osteen

Hugs GB

Gramy I know you mean well. And you make a lot of sense. My depression is just really strong right now. It has me just about incapacitated. If I don't do anything really stupid , things should eventually improve. But right this minute things are dang near unbearable.

Oh Drake- I am so sorry you re hurting so much. Ihave also had my share of guilt to deal with, although that is much better now. Try not to be so hard on yourself. YOu have done the bet you can with what you had to work with. And Gramy is right, you are not weak----in fact it's quite the opposite, you are very strong. Please try to hang in there. We all need you here.

Drake I am sorry it is unbearable for you. Believe me I understand. I hope you realize how important you are to us all. Hugs and love being sent to you.

It takes a lot of strength to live with chronic pain. I know it does for me. Pain most definitely makes our depression worse than normal. I am not going to tell you it gets better. The pain I mean. Life and depression get better with time. There is no storm that God can't take you through.

You Are NOT Weak Sweetheart....... And I Promise You Have Nothing To Feel Guilty About.

Please.........Try To Be As Kind And Compassionate With Yourself As You Are To Us :)

We Love You Honey

Sending you many hugs and much love, Dear

newdrake, I truly understand the pain and depression you are going through as it happens to me far too many times. It's hard enough to deal with chronic pain but to have depression on top of it, which will ultimately make the pain worse, is being between a rock and a hard place. I will keep you in my prayers honey. And if I can do anything...
Hugs GB

Hugs. I understand. I have diabetes and chronic pain. AND a barely tolerable job.