I don't understand how people can leave there house when they feel depressed. I feel so crippled. I don't want to do anything. People pushing me to go out just upset me and make me cry. And I know if I push myself to do something active it will only make me suck inside myself farther. I'm like a turtle, when I get upset I just hide in my shell. I'm tired of losing friends and family because of this. I just keep burning bridges with people. Everyone eventually loses patients with me and all I'm left with is the online world because I just don't have to log on if I don't want to be social. I'm tired of people judging me for being too reserved or quiet. I'm tired of people getting angry at me for not opening up enough. My whole life consists of trying to find new jobs and new friends until they give up with me and dump me. I really am just a piece of fucked up trash. No one wants me. I see people who have been through far more than I could ever imagine do better in life. I have no excuse, I'm just worthless and weak.