Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Giving Up

brokenpieces1990
brokenpieces1990
I really don't think I can do this, guys. I have hit my limit in such major ways. These breakdowns always find me no matter where I am or what I am doing. I am never safe from the hells of depression. I have nightmares about being in hell, all I want to do is lay down and cry, I feel like this whole world is just falling apart- everything is so hopeless on this planet. I don't understand why I'm even here anymore. I don't see a point to living. I was severely ill in high school to the point of hospitalization and when I went off to college, I had this fascinating, fantastic life. I've been out of school for 2 years, me and my soul mate broke up, and I'm back at home and living through the same nightmare I did all of those years ago. It's so demoralizing to be back in the dark again after coming so far. I refuse to live like this any longer. I know I encourage others to keep fighting this, even when I can't take my own advice! I just see no hope for me at this point. So sick of fighting my demons. I just wish I could die already. All i think about is dying and all the horror in this world. I have considered ending my life with the "exit bag" but I feel this would be selfish, since those are reserved for people with terminal illness. I feel like such a failure. How could I be 24, living in a great country, a good education, a relatively attractive exterior, so many friends, so many accomplishments but still feel like a total POS. It's so selfish of me to be suicidal when I have so much going for me, in a lot of ways. So many people have way less and would kill to have my life, but I don't want it anymore. I just want to end it, I'm ready to give up everything for the peace I desperately need!
koolman
koolman
Why can't you continue this fascinating, fantastic life at home? Is it a lack of intellectual stimulation? Overbearing parents? A lack of sex and love without your soul-mate there?
BonTemps
BonTemps
You should NEVER give up. My family has a history of depression ..4 of the 5 members on ADs and probably will be forever. My brother was the worst.. depression from 18 years old until well into his 50s. honestly
I got nervous when I got a phone call from his area code because i expected suicide. He was on every AD I can think of..usually a combo
including some of the old ones w really bad side effects. Even had electroshock therapy several times. Then he found a doctor at a teaching hospital who implanted a device in his neck that sends an electrical impulse to his brain every 5 minutes. The only way you know its there is he gets a little hoarse if he's speaking when it goes off. HUGE change in his life. There's no telling what medical developments may come along in your lifetime. I dont believe there's only one person that can be a great match for us. Go out and find your new soul mate.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Depression likes to get its hooks into us. Try to look at it as 2 steps forward and only 1 step back. Depression tries to make it look like 1 step forward and 20 steps back.

Gentle hugs
gramybear
gramybear
Honey you are judging yourself so harshly. I think it's wonderful that you have such a great life and you deserve all of it. What you don't deserve is to believe you don't deserve it. Depression is not the same for everyone, not at all. I have been dealing with it since I was 7 years old and still, don't understand it and most times, don't know what brings it on. Depression is ruthless, angry, cruel, and relentless. But somehow we get through it. Most of us have different ways to get through it. I have my faith that gets me through. We are here for you, never doubt that, okay? Hugs GB
Diane-M
Diane-M
You can do it. Just hold our hands......
brokenpieces1990
brokenpieces1990
Thank you guys! I am trying! And I can't have a great life here for some of the reasons you mentioned, but mostly because I feel I have just lost everything. I am suffocating in this dead-end town and my mother and grandmother are also severely depressed so we all are hoping to die, which isn't very healthy. The main reason is that I suffer from Bipolar depression which went into remission in college but came back in crippling force. And I am so sorry to hear about your family members, BonTemps! That is awful! You're right, maybe there will be some medical advances to take this all away but no medicine can fix the fact that I can perish at any moment, in a variety of different ways! There are many ways to die. Scares me senseless. Thank you for the advice/ replies. All I can do is keep breathing, there's honestly no other options at this point, and pray that this nightmare eventually ends.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. I read a post from you in the crisis section and it was very encouraging. I hope you can reread it yourself and realize what a good, helpful, supportive person you are. And I hope you can also find something to keep you going. Hugs.
eshaw
eshaw
It seems unfair to offer advice when I struggle so much myself all I know is that depression, regardless of the diagnosis, cuts deep and has no mercy. I pray that you wake up tomorrow with just a little hope to keep on keeping on. Know you're not alone here, and for once in your life someone understands what you're going through. It sucks, its crazy hard, but just take one moment at time and these moments are so much greater than one will ever imagine. Someone without depression will never know just how hard you fought. But we know! We are here and among strangers we will hopefully find a place where someone finally understands the agony and emptiness we fight every day. Hold on. You're not alone!