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( Am I an Abusive person ) In November of 2012 my half sister came to my house and threatened the life of me and my dying wife. I went to her car and I told her to leave. She wouldn't leave. I then hit her in the mouth and told her to leave. She didn't so I hit her again and she didn't leave. I hit her a third time and said leave or I wont stop hitting you. She finally left and later on I was arrested for domestic assault.
Just by reading that I bet you are thinking that I am a horrible person. I think I need to explain a little of the past before I go any further. My half sister is a Meth addict that I was trying to help and she did nothing but steal from me I caught her taking a television from my home and I immediately went to her car and got it out. I have done nothing but try to help her and she repays me by stealing from me. I was outraged and told her to leave. She left but 2 weeks later my house was robbed again everything of value was taken. My wife was devastated. I called the police and even told them who had my stuff or at least knew where it was. They shrugged their shoulders and paid no mind. I texted her and asked her why and she confessed that she had been stealing from me for years. I took the text to the police and they said that it was just here say and they couldn't do anything about it. She also constantly harassed me, sending me threatening texts over a long period of time. My sister made the last days of my wife's life a living hell and she knew that my wife was ill. That hurt me knowing that she knew what I was going through and she had the nerve to continue hurting me and Holly by sending these texts.
I was arrested after the altercation with my sister. Because we weren't sure that I could get off of the charges, my wife begged me to plead guilty so she wouldn't die while I was in jail. I hated the idea of pleading guilty. after what she did to me but I did so that I could focus on the last days of my wife's life.
I was sentenced to 1 year probation and domestic abuse classes. I can have my record expunged as long as I stay out of trouble, sense it was the first time that I have ever been in trouble. My wife died on March 3rd., A date that will be etched into my mind for the rest of my life. I hated the idea that I was put in a class that was full of wife beaters. I never hit my wife. She was my light in this pit of hell that I am living in. I don't have my light anymore and I feel lost sometimes. This site helps and I met a friend here that I care for a lot. Without her I would drown in my sorrows. Anyway I have finished the class this week and only have a month left of my probation. I am sorry this was so long. I have a journal that explains more about the other things in my life that I didn't talk about like losing custody of my son an going insane waiting 2 years for my wife to die.
I am 32 years old. I put this in because I don't want you to think I am in my 60s or 70s. I know that I could of handled things differently with my sister and I may be guilty in the eyes of the law, But am I morally guilty. I am not asking for approval. I am just asking do you think of me as an abuser after reading this.
Posted on 10/10/13, 07:19 pm
Just by reading that I bet you are thinking that I am a horrible person. I think I need to explain a little of the past before I go any further. My half sister is a Meth addict that I was trying to help and she did nothing but steal from me I caught her taking a television from my home and I immediately went to her car and got it out. I have done nothing but try to help her and she repays me by stealing from me. I was outraged and told her to leave. She left but 2 weeks later my house was robbed again everything of value was taken. My wife was devastated. I called the police and even told them who had my stuff or at least knew where it was. They shrugged their shoulders and paid no mind. I texted her and asked her why and she confessed that she had been stealing from me for years. I took the text to the police and they said that it was just here say and they couldn't do anything about it. She also constantly harassed me, sending me threatening texts over a long period of time. My sister made the last days of my wife's life a living hell and she knew that my wife was ill. That hurt me knowing that she knew what I was going through and she had the nerve to continue hurting me and Holly by sending these texts.
I was arrested after the altercation with my sister. Because we weren't sure that I could get off of the charges, my wife begged me to plead guilty so she wouldn't die while I was in jail. I hated the idea of pleading guilty. after what she did to me but I did so that I could focus on the last days of my wife's life.
I was sentenced to 1 year probation and domestic abuse classes. I can have my record expunged as long as I stay out of trouble, sense it was the first time that I have ever been in trouble. My wife died on March 3rd., A date that will be etched into my mind for the rest of my life. I hated the idea that I was put in a class that was full of wife beaters. I never hit my wife. She was my light in this pit of hell that I am living in. I don't have my light anymore and I feel lost sometimes. This site helps and I met a friend here that I care for a lot. Without her I would drown in my sorrows. Anyway I have finished the class this week and only have a month left of my probation. I am sorry this was so long. I have a journal that explains more about the other things in my life that I didn't talk about like losing custody of my son an going insane waiting 2 years for my wife to die.
I am 32 years old. I put this in because I don't want you to think I am in my 60s or 70s. I know that I could of handled things differently with my sister and I may be guilty in the eyes of the law, But am I morally guilty. I am not asking for approval. I am just asking do you think of me as an abuser after reading this.
Posted on 10/10/13, 07:19 pm
Morally, I don't believe that violence is the best answer when it comes to drug-addicted family members, although it's the most tempting answer. Cutting them off and getting a restraining order is morally the best thing you can do, as cold as it sounds. Addicts won't get better until they hit rock bottom with no one to use.
Like you, most people don't realize that until it is too late. I know I didn't. So do I think it was morally wrong? Maybe a little, but it is also completely understandable.
Whether you believe it was morally wrong or not, the better question is: Can you forgive yourself and move on with your life? I hope you can.
I know how it feels to have a wife pass away. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I think that you reacted the way you did out of stress and frustration with your sister. It sounds like you reached your limit/ breaking point with her and snapped that one time.
Even under pressure, I do hope that next time, you will handle tough/stressful situations without using your fists.
You are not an abuser considering the circumstances.
This all fact!
I know you are NOT an abusive man. You were dealing with a drug addicted sister. I know it was tough having to go to the classes and I'm glad your probation is almost over. I hope you can put this behind you now . I hope to gosh you haven't had any more trouble from your half sister.
(((((((( BIG HUGS AND LOVE ))))))))))))
LMT
Frustration needs to be guarded against. Some people call it stress. I myself am currently in a position in which I want to lash out. Though not at the people of whom I live with or any people of which I would consider my friends/family.
Sometimes we as humans just do not think straight or rather in a sensical(?) way and we act inappropriately.
What remains is did you learn anything and I would surmise you did and if you did discover in effect yourself will you make the same decision again? Now bear in mind I did not use the word mistake as mistake means you will do it again but in a different way.
Peace bro......