Respectfully, I disagree.

Self esteem is not an either or thing. I know this from personal experience.

I have the self esteem to stand up to criticism from trolls here. I do not grant them the permission to drag me down. But a few select people here have come to mean so much to me that their opinions of me will have the power to build me up or break me down.

I believe that self esteem is more like a physical or mental ability. If we keep ourselves in a place where our abilities are able to handle it then we will be happy. If the situation exceeds our ability to function then we will not be happy.

Given that, I assert that self esteem can be helped in 2 ways. First, control your environment so that you have a reasonable chance of "surviving". The second way is to work on your skills (what ever they may be) so that you are able to function in more challenging environments.

Think about it, that is why we pay to see people survive in situations that we can not. (ie, sporting events, skill competitions, etc)

Respectfully,
Pepper

I agree with pepper. Self-esteem involves first forging a strong, healthy self-DEFINITION, that nobody can tear down, except those we find intelligent, have grown to respect, and value their opinions of ourselves. Or when we get really lonely, so we settle forwhatever company we can find. We've got to keep ourselves busy enough and perpetually learning so we don't fall to deeply into that rut where we are subject to impression by others.

"too" not "to" deeply. Damn texting! Can't see the whole screen I'm typing on.

I agree with the second part; It's a struggle to obtain and keep it. And it can be taken away by others as soon as you seem to get any.

But, I doubt anyone is born with it. People who start a early life as children with good self-esteem were just lucky enough to have parents and/or a good circle of people around them who spent more time building them up than tearing them down. The tricky part for people like that, though, is they sometimes go over the line of self-confidence into arrogance. They think way too highly of themselves and much too lowly of others.

I guess, in the money metaphor; You have to find ways to make enough of it, but don't get so much that you turn into a rich snob!

Others have pointed out some good tips; Trying to keep your circle of people filed down to those who respect you and know how to be uplifting. You don't want "yes men" who say you can't ever do any wrong. But you also don't want jerks who say everything you do is wrong. It's a delicate balance and a difficult one to achieve. It's taken me my whole life to find a couple of friends who can call me out on my BS, but also support me when I'm doing good. My self-esteem is still very poor, but it's slowly building over time and it started with my own self-respect.

Imma have to agree with you.

Self esteem is definitely acquired and can be reacquired once a person is recovered enough to get it back. There as many ways to lose lower and degrade it as there are negative , toxic people to help it happen. As well there are as many ways to acquire or reacquire lots of self esteem as there are positive , supportive people that wish to help you. So we should seek out these positive people. I know it from personal and painful experience to be difficult for those who isolate themselves due to their depression. But seeking help and then finding these people can be life saving. Please please know that having a good healthy view of one's self is not an either / or thing. Even people whom have been abused , tortured and even eventully killed can have a healthy view of themselves. My case in point Anne Frank. Even when facing such hatred and evil she still said and I paraphrase that basically she still thought of most people as being good and kind. Considering her circumstances I have a hard time thinking this young lady had a lack of self esteem. I only wish I had her strength , character and wisdom. As it is I am afflicted with my own demons. But I refuse to let it kill me or keep me down. I know I am capable of great compassion and that makes me feel good about myself. If I lose my ability to be compassionate my self esteem will be greatly diminished or even non existant. If I lose my compassion I lose this battle with my depression. So whatever amount of self esteem you have please treasure and nurture it. Let it grow or acquire more if possible. But please know you are worth the effort and the fight. You are as worthy of compassion as I am. I wish you all the best. Lol and sorry for the long winded response.