Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello:
I need to let a few things out of my system, so feel free to be bored and skip. Otherwise, thank you for reading.
First, it's been about 5-6 years that I have been having problems with one of my neighbors. Where I live houses are very close to each other, so every little noise is noticed by pretty much the entire block. Those people in the back, the house behind mine, have always been very inconsiderate. They have held parties in their yard late at night, played drums all day, have barbecues there and all the smoke goes to mostly my house, and they are just unfriendly people. They were also throwing cigarette butts into my yard.
In 2011 I had to contact some sort of community relations cop to talk to them about the cigarettes and the noise late at night. They complied but since they seem to try to bother me as much as they can. They are just nasty. The rest of the neighbors are ok, some are not too fond of having a gay neighbor, but for as long as we stay away from each other I have no problem.
Those neighbors in the back, though are very nasty. Right now I had to close my windows because they stared barbecuing at 10pm and all the smoke started going into my room. They are having yet another party late at night.
I am very sensitive to this, and I try to ignore them as much as I can. It's been years that I have to put up with those people. I have no idea who they are and why they act that way. They have triggered my depression from time to time. Right now, they got to me and I feel very upset and angry for having to deal with people like them. I am afraid of doing anything since it seems like they want to start some kind of feud. Also, I just have no idea how far those people can go, they can turn violent and vicious.
The fact that they cannot care less of bothering the entire block shows how careless they are. I cannot make the assumption that they are reasonable people or that they are in their right mind. I have no idea who they are and I avoid even looking in that direction.
I feel harassed and abused.
I need to let a few things out of my system, so feel free to be bored and skip. Otherwise, thank you for reading.
First, it's been about 5-6 years that I have been having problems with one of my neighbors. Where I live houses are very close to each other, so every little noise is noticed by pretty much the entire block. Those people in the back, the house behind mine, have always been very inconsiderate. They have held parties in their yard late at night, played drums all day, have barbecues there and all the smoke goes to mostly my house, and they are just unfriendly people. They were also throwing cigarette butts into my yard.
In 2011 I had to contact some sort of community relations cop to talk to them about the cigarettes and the noise late at night. They complied but since they seem to try to bother me as much as they can. They are just nasty. The rest of the neighbors are ok, some are not too fond of having a gay neighbor, but for as long as we stay away from each other I have no problem.
Those neighbors in the back, though are very nasty. Right now I had to close my windows because they stared barbecuing at 10pm and all the smoke started going into my room. They are having yet another party late at night.
I am very sensitive to this, and I try to ignore them as much as I can. It's been years that I have to put up with those people. I have no idea who they are and why they act that way. They have triggered my depression from time to time. Right now, they got to me and I feel very upset and angry for having to deal with people like them. I am afraid of doing anything since it seems like they want to start some kind of feud. Also, I just have no idea how far those people can go, they can turn violent and vicious.
The fact that they cannot care less of bothering the entire block shows how careless they are. I cannot make the assumption that they are reasonable people or that they are in their right mind. I have no idea who they are and I avoid even looking in that direction.
I feel harassed and abused.
My opinion is to not assume anything, what are your options?
I am sorry you are going through this, it's rough to have your safe home space invaded by constant violations of noise, inconsiderate behavior.
I had a neighbor from the darkside I swear, she kept me awake all night every night with her incessant partying, loud music, fights with her friends, loud crashing noises. I think her behavior precipitated, or was a connection to a breakdown I had.
Everybody in my apt complex was scared to report her, were going through as I was, I could not take it anymore so I reported her but before that I appealed to her, asked her nicely if she'd keep the noise to a reasonable level, gave her presents! Ha. I gave her lotions tied with ribbons, baked cookies for her, silly gestures I guess that I thought might soften her up, she was a hard bitter young lady.
It took weeks to get her out, a process I had to follow, the landlord said she had her hands tied by the rules and was glad I was doing something about it. I was angry that I had to do all the work in reporting.
Me and my child were prisoners to her antics and I could not afford to move.
I wish you luck in this, think of your options, ask advice?
What has happened that's just as shameful -- people sit back and won't join together, except when they can anonymously bash someone, which they seem to live for, now. Problems fester and grow and nothing gets resolved.
A neighbor just placed a Big Lots Monstrosity, on top of something-- I can't even imagine, and now their guests walk up, waist high above their own privacy fence, facing my property, pretty close to my back door. I saw someone facing my house, pointing at my house, over Memorial Day. I'm pretty creative, but so far, other than buying a trampoline, I'm a little old, but I can jump on the damn thing, and show them how it feels, while they're in their pool to have someone popping into view over the fence - it's all I can come up with that will annoy them, without annoying nearby neighbors - I don't mind giving them something to talk about - otherwise, they just make crap up.
Since Day 1, I made a point to avoid the back yard when they had guests, just so they could have privacy. I can't wait to get a trampoline! ER - here I come.
JK - I can't afford a trampoline.
Can you fling their cigarettes over the fence while they're sleeping?
Maybe, your yard could use some fertilizing near the property line --
I hear chicken manure is ideal for that, but you really have to close your windows.
To be honest, all my life I grew up with many people like them. They seem to be not too neighbor-like. My neighbors on each side are the loveliest people, but I have noticed that in the past three years or so, very few now enjoy their backyards. I happen to be the closest to them, so i have the feeling that they don't necessarily have something against me; they are just that kind of people. Their house is the tallest in the block, they seem younger (in all honesty, I couldn't even recognize their faces as I try to avoid even looking in their direction).
They seem to want to look for some kind of confrontation. Look to me like the kind of people who dwell in that kind of thing.
Last night it got to me, not all the time I feel so upset about them and their nonsense. Today is a different day, but I am seriously considering moving. It's not that I have deep roots in this community, and the culture here seems to be very tense.
In any event, thank you. so much for your words. I will keep this post in mind if I feel like I should take some actions.
But worst of all, even if you do all this stuff it may not be needed in the end. Circumstances change for all kinds of reasons - they might move because of you, you might move for reasons unrelated to your bad neighbors, or some tragedy might strike the idiot behind you that causes him to make a 180 for reasons completely unrelated to you. You just don't know but you can't go back in time to document things so you must constantly prepare for a fight that might go on for a while or might get worse.
Whether you fight or flee it will cost you time and money, maybe a lot. However, moving sucks too, especially if you own and especially since there is no guarantee that you won't run into another a-hole. On the other hand, there is also no guarantee that, if they leave some other jerk might just move in. It is a matter of evaluating the final toll either choice (fight or flee) will take on your life, emotional toll included.
Best of luck to you.
But, that's the thing. Eventually. Cameras, recording, reports, visits to the police, confrontations... I have the feeling that those people love that; it's as if that's a lifestyle to them. The things they do and the way they do things tell me that they have experience doing this kind of things. To me that says that that's what they want and like doing.
I have had better results by ignoring them. Yes, we're in a fight, but it's one of acknowledgement. I refuse to join their nonsense. I feel that the second I do something they are going to feel encouraged to continue or escalate.
Furthermore, and to make matters worse (at least in my mind), there was this show I watched on ID about neighbor feuds that ended in murder. The stories scared the hell out of me. Ultimately I don;t know what's in those people's minds. I prefer to deal with it like this and deal with it here when they get to me. I do have some periods of peace when they seem to get tired of not getting attention or reactions from people.
Thank you so much for your support. I do feel part of a community here.