Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members

160,807 Posts

0 Online

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

My boyfriend is depressed, he's about to get kicked out of school and he doesn't know what to do. So in turn when he gets stressed out he turns off his emotions. He goes numb. Sometimes he gets other emotions in there too. This time its hatred.

He started to doubt us and he hates everything. He is even thinking about cheating to -- actually I have no idea why he wants to cheat but I am scared. I love him to death but I am afraid that if he cheats I can bounce back. He told me about the feelings he is feeling so I can help him be strong.

But I don't think I am strong enough. I don't know what to do. I am afraid that if we end, I will hurt myself. He was the reason I was holding on to life.

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

I really have no idea what to do. I am freaking out and trying to be strong!

deleted_user 12/10/2010

He sounds like he needs help. Therapy. Would he go?

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

He won't cuz he has problems opening up

deleted_user 12/10/2010

I know I wouldn't be strong and you shouldn't feel like you have to be strong. You are not responsible for what he does. He's a man and he is going to do what he wants to anyway. Don't think you can help him with this one. He needs professional help or he is going to drag you down with him. You can't and shouldn't feel responsible for his actions. I am just saying this is how I feel. I wish you the best. Peggy

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

He was with me thru the worst of my depression, when I was desperately trying to find a way out. I am not going to leave him when he needs me. What kind of gf would I be to just leave him hanging?

He can't open up to people, he had really bad problems with that. He didn't open up to me til about 6 months after we started dating.

I know I can help him and be strong doing it, I just need some love and support so I can do this right.

deleted_user 12/10/2010

Ditto to everything that has been said......You are responsible for you and you only..........If he doesn't get therapy go to therapy for you and that will help you to become a stronger for yourself..........

Hugs to you

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

I go to therapy for me. That's not the problem. I am just trying to help, I love him to death, we are supposed to be getting married in a few years. It's just that I don't know how to help and I want to try to figure this out.

Does anyone have any ideas?

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

He is a part of my family, and I can't, no I won't abandon him in his time of need.

WanderingVet 12/10/2010

Most of the time, people have to 'fix' themselves. Being responsible for another's happiness usually does not work.

As for you personally, you cannot assign the importance of your life to someone else.

This is an intensely codependent relationship.

deleted_user 12/10/2010

No I didn't mean for you to abandon him all I am saying is therapy will help you to become stronger.......Then maybe you can help him to become stronger......I know how it is to be with someone that is having a very hard time and that is what I chose to do for myself and him..........

Sorry if you took what I said the wrong way.....

WanderingVet 12/10/2010

print (at least) your first post on paper and show it to your therapist .. see what they have to say.

BluAngel2 12/10/2010

I didn't mean to upset you, I'm just kinda frustrated. It's been a long day!

deleted_user 12/10/2010

I agree with WV, your situation is messy, maybe too so for you to fix on your own, outside intervention should at least be considered by you as an option.

deleted_user 12/10/2010

No problem..I understand..........

Hugs

deleted_user 12/10/2010

The thing that most concerns me is you saying He is the only reason you are holding onto life... you must be a sweet loving person and you shoule d think more of yourself! That's where we get in trouble by placing someone above us. Partnership is supposed to be equal I think! Twetch

Join the Conversation