I am so sorry you are feeling so low. I am new on this site so forgive me if you have said before, are you seeing a therapist? I think you are doing the right thing, keeping busy during the day with work, it can help me too at times.

I know for me being a part of this community helps me feel better.

Please know that it can get better and you are so worth the fight.

((hugs))

Me too- just think how it would hurt my family so I can't do it.

i stopeed therapy, did nothing ofr me. I kinda feel like Im not meant to be here, but i dont know. thank u for listening, its nice to know i can come here

I'm in the same boat trayanne, but I no longer work... I feel better when I distract (CONSTANTLY) by watching entire seasons of TV shows on hulu or netflix.

One thing I tried was to write out the "for" and "against" thoughts for ending it. Neither column is very positive. The "against" column focuses mostly on the pain, grief, and shame I'd leave on my loved ones. I'm struggling and going back and forth weighing which would be worse -- continuing to live (in my own pain) with this ridiculously painful and so far incurable illness? or to drop all of this pain on other people??

I guess I need help too.