Trayanne .. it's ok .. try to relax. These days of grief will pass .. and you will find happiness. It takes time .. but each day is closer to the end of such pain.

You are not alone. There are thousands of people on DS .. and you are not alone.

Thank you for talking to me, i do feel a little calmer. I ordered a movie to watch and i am going to try and eat something. I think i will try and do something nice for myself this weekend

hi trayanne,
grief counceling has probably done more to give me peace than anything else i have tried. is there a way to get counceling? do you have insurance? (if not, there are many avenues to explore for sliding-scale and free therapy)
my heart goes out to you, and i'm very glad that you don't want to hurt yourself.
hang on, please.

I just want to tell you 'nice things' .. but the truth is, losing a parent is very tough .. it shakes your soul. I lost both my parents .. one to a car accident, so I know some of how you feel.

When we lose our parents, we realize how 'on our own' we actually are and it can be terrifying. We have to know the priorities and protect ourselve so we can have the best life possible .. and there is time to grieve and there is time to live .. so try to set your mind to what has to be done at the moment ... perform well on your job .. maintain your home, make friends, be active. The grief will 'back away' to make room for all that energy .. and you will realize one day that you are 'ok' with your mother not being physically available to you. Use your time to grieve but also use your time to live .. your life .. the one you have had of your own since you were born. It is time to use it now .. in spite of the grief and sadness. Living will displace the grief. Do all the living you can .. and you will be OK.

I see a therapist but it doesnt help much, i feel like there is nothing they can say to help me really, to be honest i like this place better

Well, you are certainly welcome here .. there is a lot of support here .. thing is, it is sincere but not 'formal' .. so I hope you will take the best of both .. here and your therapist .. unless it is just not working, .. in which case find another or save your money.

I do believe the most effective is time and 'continuing to live' .. which touches on the 'staying busy' part.

Losing a parent hurts for a long time .. but like I mentioned .. time heals.

I'm willing to talk with you.

What movie?

And, what did you eat?

I ate crab legs, and a salami sandwich!!! doesn't feel right in my tummy.

I turned off my television because the news was too triggering.

I'll talk with you,....you still online?

nope . not online at the moment .. I hope she is enjoying a peaceful evening.

We are here for you, Trayanne. It will be OK.

I am 51, and I am scared to death of my mom leaving me. I know it will happen but I have always wished I would go first. My Mom has always been there for me when no one else would. I don't know how to tell you not to hurt. I have not experienced that. I hear the bereavement groups helps to support that. Use it in ADDITION to this group.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I am feeling a little better, I watched the movie Arthur cause it makes me laugh. I will probably watch it again tonight, if it makes me laugh what the Hell? I didnt want to, but I went to therapy and I am trying to convince myself that this will pass, I am on new meds.