I also must add they both drink and smoke to keep them from thinking about all that goes on. Depression also runs deep in my family.

You have every right to leave and start your own life.
You are not responsible for your mom and brother.

It's perfectly normal for you to want to pack up and get your own place.

Your mom has to know that this day was coming.
Do not feel like you are "stuck" there. You are not.

Good Luck :-)

I think at your age its perfectly normal for you to spread your wings and do all you can in order for you to reach your full potential

so plan ahead do you want to leave home
do you also want to leave your town and your friends
answer those honestly and then see what the career prospects are

dont just leave home for the sake of leaving home - leave home for you because the time is right

your mother and brother are responsible for themselves - and they might take steps to better their lives if you are not there to support them

plan for YOUR future and good luck
H xx

You need to do for yourself and your future. They are old enough to take care of themselves too. Maybe you are enableing them not to get moving and get out there and do better, because they know you will take care of everything. I dont mean to sound uncaring, but at some point it comes down to our own mental well being. Good Luck

The problem is my stepdad left and left us with all the bills in the house and my mom has never lived alone so I wouldn't want to just up and leave like that. It's really hard to find a good job in this city and the more money you make the higher your bills get here.

The reason I want to leave is to better my life. I've lived here 22 years and have never once been invited to a party I have no friends to go visit so I sit around the house all day. My brother goes out with his friends multiple nights a week and he's rarely ever here. My mom could get alot more out of life if she would quit letting people run all over her. I do that sometimes but not to the point that it costs me financially. So do I try to help them out of the situation we are in now or start my own and hope it goes well?

You are in a difficult situation. You have received some great advice. I would sit down and have a candid talk with your brother and mother. Tell them that you are planing to leave for all the reasons you have listed...give them a time frame and then make a plan,

Work on you...make a plan for weight loss...diet and exercise...and get going.

Best of luck to you friend!

Everyone has a responsibilty for their own lives, your mother and brother have the responsibility to look after themselves. You have the responsibility to look after yourself.

If your brother can go out every night, he can certainly contribute to the family.

I totally understand the instinct to protect and the feeling of duty towards your family, but, if the situation were reversed would they put in eight hour days to support you?

It is hard to keep motivation, so why not (and just a suggestion) set a goal and discuss it with them, say, in X months I will move, I want to live my own life and I will contribute what I can, but you need to start making provision for yourselves. Once that is done, start working towards the move, get down the gym, motivated by the knowledge that you are working out towards that date when you move - nothing has to be set in stone and of course circumstances may change, but at least you'll have a plan and not be drifting in an unhappy situation.

Leaving and living your own life does not mean that you've abandoned them, it just means that you are treating them as fully human and allowing them to accept responsibility for themselves - that I think is hard, but is worthwhile for you and your family.

You are the most important person in your life and your family will always be there, they may even be better people and respect you more for the stand you take.

Be kind to yourself, you are worthwhile and you deserve a little kindness.