Sounds like you are putting alot of pressure on yourself. Do you think you have to be and do certain things? Try to identify what specifically is getting you so down and tackle each thing one at a time. Give yourself time to just be you too. (((hugs))) If it helps keep talking here or journal. Once you get some things out, it may help to straighten your mind. We're here for you to give advice and support.

I don't know who "I" am anymore, let alone know how to be me. I just wish I knew what was causing this all . . .

sometimes when we don't know what to do .. do nothing. Time is one of nature's healers. Sometimes we have to just be calm, and wait for things to 'come together'.

Ride it out .. things will come together for you.

I can't wait forever, I feel like I've been waiting all my life for something to change and nothing's happened yet. I just can't do it any longer.

All your life for something to change? What needs to be changed do you think or what is that change you are thinking about? To feel suddenly happy and have it all together? You are young and who you are is still in development and will continue to be in development all your life, though you usually become more predictable as you get older.

I think if you keep speaking, you might stumble on the answer and inevitably more questions, but that is how you grow.

I know the exact thing your going through. It seems that the world is spinning and you just cant find anything to grab hold of. What I do is take me time I leat my mind empty everthing that has been getting to me and i watch a movie mostly scary ones because i can say at least my life isnt that bad. And I slowly start to work on all of confussion and hopelessness do it bit my bit like a jig saw puzzel it make some time and a few scary movies but eveentualy you will finish the puzzel!

You said you are confused with everything that is happening in your life. What is happening? As I wrote look at each thing and try to tackle each thing that is confusing or bringing you unhappiness. Though as WV said, there are time to ride things out for a bit, it is what I meant when I said take time to just be you too.

I don't know who I am anymore. My counselor thinks I'm dissociative (mulitiple personalities), which seems to be geting proven more and more. It just seems like whenever I find out anything new a hundred more questions even more confusing than the first just show up. Who am I really? Why is all of this happening to me? What started it all? Why should I even bother trying to figure anything out if it just seems to make things worse? I hate this all. I hate this life.

I've learned a great many coping tools from Dr David Burns' book called "Feeling Good". His approach is called Cognitive Therapy where the patient actually takes the lead in his/her therapy, being pro-active rather than re-active. Burns identifies 10 cognitive distortions in our thinking habits and gives several arguments to use that dispute each one of them. In short, you learn to become aware of when your internal dialogue is causing symptoms and then you dispute that dialogue with rational arguments. After a little practice, your internal dialogue begins to become more rational and less distorted. You learn to become your own therapist and your own best friend instead of being your own worst enemy with self sabotaging internal dialogue going on in your head all the time.

Another thing that really helps me when I'm anxious or in panic: I write. If you can't think of anything to write, write down what you are feeling and continue to write possible causes for it. The hardest part is getting started because we're paralyzed when anxious and can't muster enough drive to even decide what to wear on any given day. But just do it. Start writing. Here is why it works: You must be objective when you write. It is impossible to write anything and not be objective. This, alone, will help panic and anxiety subside. And who knows? You might even write the next great American novel. Edgar Allen Poe was a depressive. Mozart, Schumann, and Jimmy Hendrix. Einstein was a depressive. And many more very gifted people too numerous to name here. So we're all in good company regardless how miserable we may feel. Poe wrote great literature and poetry, Mozart, Schumann and Hendrix great music, and Einstein wrote theories expanding on Newton. They all wrote. Try it and see if it helps.

Finally, and most importantly, nothing is permanent. Do not despair because we all CAN get better. I was as desperate as one can possibly be but I got better. There are better days ahead, believe me.

Dissociative disorder usually involves blocks of time that you do not remember, where another personality takes over and you will find yourself surprised in a situation and wonder how you got there. Is that is what is happening to you? Why would your counselor suggest this is what you have. You sound integrated to me, but only you know if you are.

Try to complete certain sentences, like:

I am unhappy because _____________________________

I am confused by _______________________________

I want more of __________________

etc., etc., that is why I suggested you keep talking and maybe journal to get to what is in your mind.

That's def. what's happening to me. Everything my counselor has told me about dissociation so far fits me exactly. I wish I knew what was in my mind. I wouldn't know how to finish those sentences.

Well, that's pretty serious and a tough diagnosis. I hope therapy or counselling can help you.

Still, I would gently encourage you to try to answer those sentences and some more like:

I need ________________________

I would like ________________________

I dont' know what your background is like or if you are taking medications, though I do wish you the best and if you need to just let things out on here, then do so and we can try to help. Confusion can be a part of depression too as you work out your feelings. (((hugs)))

I was on meds, but I've been off of them now for just over a month. Don't know what's happening with that yet. Just waiting for my next appointment with my psychiatrist to see what will happen there.

That may be some reason you are feeling more confused. I hope it will get better when you are back on medications.