You need to keep going. Things will get better,

I think you need to convince your counselor of the seriousness of your feelings. If there is a liklihood of your hurting yourself, you need to be in a hospital where you are safe and for as long as you need to be there.

Before you EVER do hurt yourself, call Emergency Services .. in the US it is 911 and I think it is the same in Canada.

http://www.canada911.com/

Are you currently seeing a doctor or a therapist? How are you treating your depression?
Don't ever contemplate suicide. We don't know what waits for us after death. We don't even know if death IS the end of everything.

Stay strong x.

are u on meds to sorta help balance you out during the day.

Embrace it, the battle. It is yours to fight. I see that you want to be a teacher so you have many gifts to offer and lives to impact. When I turned and faced my demons they lost power, running is not the answer and a life not lived is not part of your higher powers plan for you. You have a calling, answer it.

Blessings!

I think you must be too special,,, Those thoughts and feelings are very difficult and I feel for you.

Wanderingvet: I'm scared to go back to the hospital. And my counselor knows that. I've been there 6 times in the past 1 1/2 years. Last time I was there my psychiatrist was threatening to put me in a group home or send me somewhere for a longer time (months). If that happened I WOULD kill myself. There's no way I could handle that, and I know that.

Fulloflove: Yes I'm on meds, but they're useless. And I'm in the process of switching to a new psychiatrist, so they're not changing them right now.

Voodoo: I don't know what else to do. I'm see a psychiatrist. I see my counselor twice a week now. I'm on meds, but they still haven't found the right ones. I've been in inpatient and outpatient programs. I don't know what else there is.

sweetie, please hold on......it will get better, just try to believe. listen to some soft encouraging music and pray to your most higher power that's bigger than any human being walk the face of this earth.
when we reach our lowest, that's when god's power is most able to help us. you are the strongest when your weak. our trials, failures, concerns, grief, comes to make us stronger. please hold on, it get's better if you just hold on. your blessing is around the corner with your name on it. and when you come out of this you're going to be able to help someone else in the same position you was once in. that's what the universe is here for, to give back. i love u precious, you are special and a diamond in the rough shining soo bright. BELIEVE, SWEETIE. HELP IS ON THE WAY, PURSUE IT AND BELIEVE IT

Aprilstar...another thing you might try is quite meditation. Meds are not always the answer, IF they work it can take a while to find the right one.

Seekers will always find what they are looking for!

I don't think your pshychiatrist is threatning you. He's trying to help you not to feel this way. Why would you kill yourself if you took his advice? I know being hospitalized makes some people feel like they're in prison or something. One of my sisters has been in and out of hospitals for heavy stuff like schizophrenia and a very extreme anorexia that baffles doctors. But the times she's been out she's tried to kill herself, she's harmed us, she stopped taking her meds and has been on 70 lbs . It was a complete mess and every single time she was closer to dying. And she too felt like her doctor was threatni g her.

If you truly want to feel better, try his advice. This is hard, but you have to keep trying!

I tried meditation too. Really didn't work for me.

I know he's not threatening me. But I couldn't live like that. Being in a hospital for a week is more than enough.

We just had a major earthquake but I am glad I came here tonight.
A new person I met on the groups wrote in her journal she is going to cut and binge drink, and I actually got sick to my stomach. I don't understand how anyone can hurt themselves especially people intelligent and beautiful inside and out.

There is nothing that this type of thing can fix nothing.

So many good people here, and we need each other. Maybe just today tonight we can not hurt ourselves, and come back here and talk about it again and again.

I know it can get better, I wear the scars on my wrist and arms. I did not give up and believed people that i was worth it. 19 years later I am ok today not always up but ok.

Please don't hurt yourself.

I'm so sorry for your pain. Often the whole future, the rest of my life, is too overwhelming to think about. I try to make it thru each moment and then to work on two moments, etc... rather than to focus on the overall pain.

Please hold on for this moment, the next and those that follow.

(((hugs)))