I feel like I'm completely losing my will to live. I just don't care anymore. It's kind of bothering me that I'm thinking this way. I know soon enough it won't bother me anymore, and then I'll end up doing something about it. I've done it before. I almost checked myself into the hospital today because of it (I pass the hospital on the bus on my way to work). Maybe I should, I don't know, but I know I never could actually get myself to go to the hospital to get help. I have an appointment with my counselor on Friday. I'm scared I'll end up in the hospital then anyways, if I make it that long . . . I don't know what to do.
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