Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Help :'( Read my journal?
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/427599/journal
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/427599/journal
You talk to the many helpful and caring people on DS. You get some rest. You take it one day at a time and try to see and feel the good things about life. You take your doctor's advice. You inform your doctor of what is going on. You do what most of us do. You try.
I have to tell you that DS is a great place .. but it is limited in what it can do. Many look to DS to cure their depression. I personally do not think it can do that. That comes from ourselves ONLY with primary help from doctors. DS can encourage, listen, and comment. That is a great help to many, but we actually live our lives from within ourselves. Maybe you can learn from some of us how to love yourself and apreciate life .. how to find happiness, make happiness, gain peace. On DS, you do that by talking (more specifically typing). You can do it. Give it some thought .. type up your thoughts, .. check it closely, then click ADD. Something usually happens when you do that.
School's another problem completely. I can hardly even focus on a two minute conversation (btw, writing this coherently is very difficult for me). How am I supposed to be able to concentrate in class, and pass the courses? Yes, I have help from the school. I don't have to write notes and I have help with my tests. But I don't know if that is helping me or making things worse. Those things make me feel stupid and incompetent, like I can't even manage to do the simplest things in life.
I know DS won't cure anything, I'm not expecting it to. I have to do that myself (as my counselor has reminded me MANY times). But it's just so hard, and I don't know if I'm capable of getting myself out of this. I don't feel like I have the strength, the power, the ability. I feel completely worthless and useless. I don't see that my life is worth anything, so why bother even trying at all? I just don't know anymore.
I feel like I'm living in a fog that I can't seem to find my way out of. I'm so alone in here. I feel so confused all the time. I have so many thoughts running through my mind, yet I can't seem to figure out what even one of them is. I don't even understand my own mind anymore. I'm lost.
I'm constantly going into panic attacks over the smallest things. My counselor's trying to help me through this, but I just don't know. Yes, I want to get better. Yes, I want to live a "normal" life. But I just don't know if I even believe that's possible anymore.
It may be you need someone higher up the professional scale. It seems you have problems with concentration among other things which would need the medical profession to examine and treat.
Does your fiancee help you with these problems .. loneliness etc? Doesn't the idea of getting married bring you happiness? One can spend thousands on a wedding or accomplish it for only a few dollars. The only cure for money problems is prosperity .. if you do not have money you can look forward to the happiness it will bring you when you graduate and get a good job. It is called optimism and we need optimism to be happy.
Why can't you write school notes? Living in a fog and concentration problems, and panic attacks require medical doctor care. I think you need to elevate your care and things will improve for you.
I cannot stay online any longer, .. if you do not get further help from DS IN THIS THREAD, start another one soon .. about any of this 'stuff'. There are MANY who will listen and make suggestions. Meanwhile, I think you need to take these problems to an MD. Remember, all DS can offer is a listening ear, suggestions, and opinions.
I don't write my own notes during class because of my problems concentrating and such. My psychiatrist has written a letter to my school, so I have another student in my classes that sends their notes to me.
Yes, my fiancee helps me as much as he can, but he has his own problems as well. Right now he's also living with his brother in Tennessee for a few months while I'm up here in Canada.
Besides depression, has your psychiatrist diagnosed you with an anxiety disorder or attention deficit disorder? Are you taking medication for depression?
When symptoms reach a point where they restrict your ability to live a "normal" life, it is likely time to use medication to alleviate them while you work on coping skills and strategies to accomplish the tasks that are difficult for you. Then you can discontinue the medications when you have learned other techniques. In some cases, it is best to continue to take medication on a long-term basis.
Please stay and get support here.
"go to a hospital type place where I would live for at least 6 weeks"
do this .. any way you can. There is something particular about your condition, in my opinion and it impairs function. This can be isolated and treated. You mention things are not working and you do not know what to do. That means you are going to have to do what someone else tells you ... or you are stuck .. right where you are. You must do something, yet you do not know what to do, so do what your counselor suggests.
the separation from your fiancee is temporary. You can look forward to that improving. If you do not take some kind of action, you are where you are. I urge you to get into the inpatient program and it will probably change your life.