aww you went through alot. Im so sorry that people treated you like that. No one deserves to go through that. im glad that your last year had support from teachers.
my story was that when i was young my mom was taken away from me, for about 1 year. i was 5 years old, and i saw people who i thought i admired take her away from me. that image stuck through me, and i was sent back to my native country. i saw how cruel people were, and all that shit happening to my people. i came back to my home changed.my sibling ran away afterwards, but came back after 6 months. this all happened before i was 10(?) a bunch more, but the trash never left me. i couldnt fit it anymore in school, and was isolated. but luckily i found friends as messed up as me, we do help each other. on the outside im just ok, but i have horrible days where i dont want to wake up.
we all have really long stories its crazy, but that shows we re not alone.

When I was six my parents got divorced and then my mom went back into her partying phase in life, but I had to rely on myself because no one else was around. My dad was away at work out of the country three months at a time, then when my mom was home she was a depressed hungover mess so I had to take care of her. I guess that started it, then when my dad finally had the oppurtunity to see me every week and be a somewhat "normal" dad he moved in with his girlfriend in another state. Then I never saw him anymore, I see him maybe every three months for a weekend. This really took a toll on my dperession and so I started self harming once I moved in with him. My step mother emotionally abused me but my dad refused to admit that's what was going on. He made it my fault and said I should be the bigger person but I was just a kid and didn't need to do that. So I turned to self harm and ya..sorry that made no sense. My memories are a jumbled mess.

WOW!! I feel for you guys and hope things will get better...I guess u just need to find the right people like in this group

My story is posted in my first journal entry. I do hope everyone here gets better. I don't want anyone else to suffer like I do, but I can't really do anything but support.

When I was seven, I lost my dad to a lot of illnesses. It screwed my family forever. As soon as he died. I changed so much. I became so... lonely. Fast ford the end year of my second grade tear. My highschool brothers always abused me, making me cry and feel so worthless. So when I became angry at them, I'd punch myself until I got huge bruises on my arms and legs and blame it on them, so you can say that I began self-harming at a young age. Then in sixth grade, i became introduced to depression and self-harm. Thats when I started feeling hopeless. So in May, I just knew I had depression. And in November of 2013, I told my sister-in-law about how I felt, and she took me to see a doctor and bam. I'm diagnosed with major depression. Nothings changed since them, I'm in eight, and I feel even worse. I wished family could just see how much I hurt.

My depression crashed down on me at the end of sixth grade. It just came out of nowhere, and suddenly the world seemed darker and everything was just grey. I did get bullied after that, but it didn't really effect me because it's hard to get to me with insults.
I went three years without telling anyone. So many times, especially seventh grade, I wanted to kill myself. I would write suicide notes in my head, and I've written two on my phone's notes app, but I never did anything. I was too scared. I would think about what the best way too kill myself was.
I would go through these periods where I would sleep too much or too little. Sometimes I had insomnia and sometimes I couldn't drag myself out of bed in the morning.
My friends didn't really notice. My mom did, and she asked me several times if I was depressed, and her saying it so upfront scared me even more, and I wasn't even going to tell her at all before that.
Sometimes I would eat too much or eat too little. I would sit in the bottom of the shower and and the water to the hottest it could go and let it go down my back. It wasn't until eighth grade year until I began to feel numb instead of feeling at all. Yeah, I would still get really sad, but when the numbness started, it was just ten times worse.
I would have moments where I would just completely "float" out of my body and watch myself walk through the day, talking to people even though it wasn't me. It was foggy and it felt like I was in a dream. It would last from maybe two minutes to two hours to two days. And it was scary. I now know it's called depersonalization.
When it came to the end of eighth grade, I'd had enough of the fake smiles and the nonexistent tears and I told my mom. She took me to a therapist, and after a few appts, I was on meds for depression and anxiety. I got better, but I'm still struggling, which is why I'm on here now. It's nice to get my story out :)
I'm getting tons of help. I even told my best friend. I've never really had any other good friends except her and another girl, and I've known them since I was little, and they know just how crazy and fun I can be. I've found an undying love for books and anime and I have many supporters online and I just made three friends today with the same interests as me.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You don't deserve any of it. At all. You are wonderful and you matter. Don't let any bitches tell you how you are because you are who you want to be.
I'm sorry I sound like a motivational speaker :) And don't worry, you're not alone in this world.
You can message me any time if you like.

Since this post, I decided to go of my meds for a while just to see how I would be, but that was a mistake. I started to say some threatening things toward a couple employees cuz I was jealous of them. I tried to apologize, but they're to "good" for that. So now I only 1 job that I work 2x/week.

I don't think people really understand what it's like not being able to control how you feel and what you say. I tried to explain what happened to my boss, but they thought it was BS so Im banned from that facility. I've proven that I'm NOT a threat to anyone several times, but people have turned their back on me since they found out that I do suffer from depression (possibly bi polar).

Knowing that I can relate to you is reassuring because it proves that we're not alone. Sure I have my days, but I am able to control how I feel most of the time

All of the above: Are you on any meds?? Right now Im on 5 (which i think is WAY too much). I can tell sometimes tell a difference if Im not on them if not someone else will.

I think it's good that you realize something was wrong because I was in denial. I didn't want people to think of me as "helpless" It wasn't until my 18th birthday that one of my teachers confronted me that something wasn't right. She gave me a birthday card and it made me cry. I don't cry easy, but i just had to let it out. During that day 3 people confronted me knowing I had a problem.

You might not think people won't notice, but they do. Sometimes they're too afraid to talk to you because they don't know what to say or what to do. I think people are beginning to be more aware of the dangers of mental illness when Robin Williams died because he was the last person that you'd think be depressed. I use humor to cover up how I feel like he did.

If u wanna read my other post "Which is worse: The disease of the stigma" go for it