When I get depressed I get into these modes where I don't want to/can't leave my house or my room or talk to anyone (this particular time I spent a night at the hospital). As I feel better it's like I'm taking a risk to go outside or something. I'll get caught in this inner conflict of whether to "go out" or "be in". My friend is having a party tonight and part of me is like "whoa, just 5 days ago you felt like shit beyond belief, you can't go there you're not mentally or emotionally ready." but then I'm thinking "I'm feeling better right? so why should I deprive myself of having fun? What's the point of not doing it?" So you see it's a decision. Also, I've been out of school for almost 2 weeks. What if it seems like I'm only up for the fun things? AND (I've struggled so much with this) When someone who I don't want to talk to about my depression with asks me where I've been (This has happened probably more than 30 times over the course of my past absences) what do I tell them? I've run through just about every response imaginable.
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