being me is probably my biggest fear. not because im a crazy killer, or because secretly im into something incredibly bad. no. its just because im transgender. ive grown up my whole life with people not knowing this. so ive always gone by female pronouns. but its getting harder. i recently had a lecture from my step father about how im a 'girl' because i have girl parts. thats not exactly what i was hoping to hear from someone i care about. up until now ive been able to kinda cope with depression that i got because of abandonment from my biological father. but now, i dont even really know what to do anymore. i dont want to get mad at my step father i mean i havent told him im trans. but how can i? im already scared to death. i dont want to eat because im scared my boobs will grow, and ive been overworking myself to get my mind off everything. im not judged when i walk around the house chest binded and in boys clothing. but since i cosplay my family laughs it off thinking im only dressing up. ill always be, daughter, big sister, girlfriend. and i hate it! im son, big brother, boyfriend. but in my small town, coming out would be like the apocalypse it feels like. the depression is becoming more real. cant i just be happy or is that to much to ask?