Depression - Teen Support Group
Teen depression is marked by persistent sadness, discouragement, loss of self-worth, and loss of interest in usual activities. Depression can be a temporary response to many situations and stresses. Teens may be more susceptible to depression due to the normal maturation process, the stress associated with it, and conflicts with parents as they become more independent.
The past three weeks have just been total hell for me. I have been depressed for the past two years, but during spring break I was on vacation both weeks with my best friend and only one family member so for the first time in a very long time, I was close to happy. Then I went back to school and things got really bad for me. The sudden drop made me go to the school adviser and she kind of... freaked out. She went to the school counselor who called my parents who sent me to my old therapist who wants to send me to my old psychiatrist and things have just snowballed completely.
I feel totally cornered by everyone. They all think they've caught me right before I become depressed again, but in reality I'm very suicidal. I self harm every day and every night I end up curled in a ball crying my eyes out. I can't cope with simple life anymore and spent all day sleeping instead of going to school. I need a break from my life and I've even planned killing myself at one point. I want to open up to my therapist, but I'm scared of everything being taken away from me.
I'm afraid that if I tell her about everything that I'll be sent away to the hospital, but if I go there, I'm scared that I'll be taken out of everything I've been looking forward to. I'm even scared that I belong in the hospital. I cry when I wake up because I'm horrified that I have to spend another day on this earth. I just want to die.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't see a way out.
I feel totally cornered by everyone. They all think they've caught me right before I become depressed again, but in reality I'm very suicidal. I self harm every day and every night I end up curled in a ball crying my eyes out. I can't cope with simple life anymore and spent all day sleeping instead of going to school. I need a break from my life and I've even planned killing myself at one point. I want to open up to my therapist, but I'm scared of everything being taken away from me.
I'm afraid that if I tell her about everything that I'll be sent away to the hospital, but if I go there, I'm scared that I'll be taken out of everything I've been looking forward to. I'm even scared that I belong in the hospital. I cry when I wake up because I'm horrified that I have to spend another day on this earth. I just want to die.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't see a way out.
....keep your head up and take things slow....don't push yourself to do or be something you aren't ready for...
I know how hard this is, but you can tell your therapist what you said in this post. Maybe he/she can get you to talk about the issues causing that and help you work through them. If you work through the cause, the issue can be helped.
A hospital is scary to think about... but it can help. Personally, I was as scared as you. But my boyfriend went with me to my therapist and had me tell her what was going on when I started trying to cut again (I had stopped at 16, and wanted to start again at 19). I tried a partial hospitalization program, and then ended up in the hospital. You may miss out on a few things while in the hospital, but when you are doing better and are out, everything you get to do then just feels so much more fun and makes you happier than it would the way you are feeling now.
If you need/want someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I have been in your place and I know how hard it is... but I am proof that things do get better. I admit they are no where near fixed for me.... but they are getting better and have sense I got the true help I needed, even though that meant being inpatient for a while. If I can feel better, so can you.