Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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SAMPAGUITA 08/07/2009

I decided to give up nursing. I know it became a dream for me but I cannot do something forever that will make me sick. Literally sick. I dont want to risk it. Its not because that im not brave, but im brave enough to accept my limitations. There are some ok, not so ok and not so very okay with this illness. Living with it is not easy. I learned that willpower can help, but when there is something pathological behind suffering, it could be very hard and cannot be just deified by willpower alone. Just yesterday, I attended a hip hop class; I noticed that I cannot concentrate with the steps. I cannot follow. And I felt bad. So I left the class and walk on the treadmill. I just dont want to force myself on something that will stress me. At some point too, I felt a bit sad because I used to love dancing so much. But right now, at this moment Im giving the permission to myself that I will not do anything that will contribute to my agitation or anxiety. All this time, I realized that I was relying on my willpower---there is nothing wrong with that. But sometimes acceptance can be liberating. Right now, I dont know the answer to the question: How can I live my life to the fullest knowing that I have an illness like this? I have so many questions on my mind right now. But it is not good for me to pressure myself about my future career since im making a shift. That is the suggestion of my pdoc. And Im cool with that.
Last night the BP thing is driving me crazy. I am so sleepy and tired but its like I dont want to sleep yet. Bingeing on rice and pork although detrimental for my weight loss plan saved me from feeling worst. I felt a bit bad since I lost almost 2.4 lbs over the week. But I dont want to blame myself anymore. I dont want to mope or dwell over what happened, its just that, this is hard for me to handle. But like what I said on my post about My 10 BP Commandments, we must have unlimited ability to forgive ourselves.

God doesnt care how much we fall down. For as long as we have FAITH in him then God will heal our wounds and wipe our tears so that we could move on for the next day

goodfight 08/07/2009

Your right God doesn't care how much we fall, but he doesn't like us triping ourselves either. Hang in there things can and will get better. There are many types of nursing professions and in home care. Explore other possibilities that might be a good fit for you. God Bless!!

deleted_user 08/08/2009

thank you for that,samp... i took on soo much for too long and now i have to look at my priorities and figure out which ones are most important and do my best for as much as i only can handle cause if i try to do more thatn i can handle at the time , nothing will get done so i takke it slow and add to my challenges a little at a time at my own pase as long as i remain productive in the areas that will help my acheive my goals for the present and the future...i know it may sound child like but i grew up too fast, missed out on alot, and had no copeing skills, so today i'm getting to know who i am and i find it hard to find what i don't see and through healing and work i am slowly finding out who i am and learning to move on without shame because i am trying to give myself a chance as oppose to sitting in the corner and sobing about how life's been unfair to me, i have choices and it's time to make them and find out what works for me, i know that there are answers to my questions and i just have to find the answers, even if i have to go back through my past, it can't hurt me anymore cause i don't want to be at the hurtfull places anymore, i beleive that there's always a way and even if you end up on one or both knees from time to time, so what, i'm not gonna give up until i have to find the right tools and use them to get better and move on, i feel hopeless sometimes (didn't add all details) but always looking for a way to cope with my struggles and never stop learning, do what do what you can and eventually you'll be able to do what you want / enjoy...i hope you find what's best for you and i like your post ;)

deleted_user 08/09/2009

Well I was in the same place you are. I was a nurse and in 1998 I had a major breakdown at work. Since then I can't bring myself to go back to nursing, or any kind of work. I got Social Security Disability 5 years ago. I just got out of the hospital after being there 2 weeks because of major Depression. It is so hard to feel good about any thing but I try to get out of the house and be around people. That really helps since I live alone. Don't feel bad about you not being able not to go back to nursing. It's not your fault it's the chemical imbalance in your brain that controls it.
God Bless You

deleted_user 08/17/2009

I quit my job 3 weeks ago. I quit because the new boss kept coming on to me, and then when I wouldn't give in to his advances, wrote me up for a bunch of outrageous things that never happened and changed my job description so that I would have to work 12 hours every day plus every weekend.
I put in so much overtime, so much effort, so much of my heart and my self into that job... it crushed me to see that all that mattered was what this guy *said* happened, and not any of the wonderful things I did. And I lost the one friend I had - I *thought* she was a friend; but it turned out she was sleeping with the boss and was after my job. She is the one ex-coworker who hasn't called or emailed since I left.
But when I look back on the situation, I worked alot of overtime and in the process neglected my husband, my health, and my well-being. It might be too late to save my marriage, I don't know. And, with all the personal and financial problems that come with losing a job, I feel so low and alone and I have no idea how to get myself going again. Which is why I joined this group today.
BUT, in spite of all that.... Quitting was good for me. I didn't let a jerk boss continue to walk all over me, lie about my worth, or take me away from more important things. I lost a false friend, who would have been a negative influence in my life. And in spite of how I feel, I have the opportunity to fix myself on the inside (

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