Ah, yes, the unpredictable moods. So frustrating.
Husband came for his visit tonight. I asked him how his frustration level was after being here for an hour or two. He said it was fine and it was good to see the kids. I asked what he thought about his ability to handle more of the kids. He doesn't think he can do it full time, but he doesn't know what that means for the future.
I'm telling you, that crush I have is what is saving my sanity and keeping me from panicking right now. I have some sense that life will go on no matter what.
And I have an interview tomorrow!

They are so frustrating and they just won't stop right now!!! Ugh!!! I have to be everything for us, man woman, rock, emotional, caring, loving, strict, cleaner, worker, paperwork reader... Normally I can at least provide him with a task so I can do the rest but right now everything is all on me!!! I am losing it right now.

On the other end... You!! Congratulations on your interview!! Life will go on no matter what, you are absolutely right!!

I have to ask, with the kids... Do your friends, family, his family know what's going on? You are taking on a lot and he is really being a baby and getting his was. I am in the EXACT same situation but for is it is his inability to work. My family and friends know but his family doesn't. It irritates me to no end that they think he works!!! It isn't fair really. And it's even expanded for you because the kids will get older and one day likely ask why dad didn't live with them. Will you be honest? I am asking because this puts you in a saintly position... You have been phenomenal at being calm and dealing with all this and you deserve the recognition. I always think that if mine ever leaves I will tell them all the truth. But I think it may be too late for me now, I feel his family will think I have been an idiot and be angry with me for that and him for not working. I feel you deserve the truth to be told... You need some big hugs from lots of people! Sending lots of hugs your way!!

Thanks:) My family knows what's going on and my friends (and our mutual friends who aren't quite so mutual anymore) do too. His family knows nothing. I never had much of a relationship with his side. We get along just fine, we're just not close. I tell the kids as much truth as is appropriate for their ages. As they get older, I'll tell them more of the story, and I won't tell them that dad can't stand being a dad until they are into adulthood. I'm not shy about telling the truth to friends and neighbors. It's his issue that he's created, and I don't want to live in secrecy.
Had the interview today. It went great, they think they'll make an offer. BUT...it's in the manufacturing field not the environmental field. And it's a small company, so they can't afford to pay a lot and they have no benefits yet. So I'm not sure I'll make enough to live on my own. I'd need alimony. And of course child support. I'm in the VA system, so I could probably just get medical care there and keep the kids on husband's plan. It seems like a nice company, the people there are personable. But it's not exactly in my field. I'm not sure if I should take it because it would be a job or hold out for something closer to my field that pays a bit more. I feel pressed for time because I've put this September deadline on myself, but I could just continue to depend on husband financially for a little while longer. He has made no issue of my financial dependence and has actually stated that he's never minded that and wants me and the kids to have what we need. So I don't want to take this position out of fear of not having a job but I also don't want to pass it up if there's a future possibility of more as the company grows. And I don't want to take it and then miss out on a more environmental oriented job. I'm also a bit concerned about housing. I want to keep the house, the mortgage is less than rents. But what if I can't afford it? If I can't afford the house, I certainly can't afford to rent. And I for dang sure can't afford an attorney if it comes to that. I had a free consultation with one, and $225 an hour is just too rich for my blood.

I say you take the job. You will feel better yourself if you do. And keep putting feelers out for an environment job if thats your end goal :) But take it... you will be happy you did.
I am glad people know and you are honest. I am very straightforward with my situation with everyone and anyone (except his family). I tell it all exactly the way it is... it helps me. My own sort of therapy.
He sounds supportive, put away what you can. Save, be thrifty, work, save some more. You will be just fine :)

I'm starting to lean toward not taking it. I've found a few more science based postings, and I'm going to start trying to network also. I have this nagging feeling that it's just not what I'm looking for, and I went for my masters degree to do environmental science. If i wanted to do manufacturing, I could have done that without the expense of grad school. If it were a company in the B Corporation or with a sustainable mission, that might be different, but they explicitly said they were not and did not intend to be any time soon. And they expressed concern that I would leave them once I found a more environmental job, so then I also feel obligated to spend some time there if they take a chance on me. But my real wish is to do something environmental. I've only been looking for jobs for about 6 weeks. That's not long in the job search arena. I'm so impatient, and I like to be in control, so this not knowing what I'll be doing and how much I'll be making is a huge stressor for me. But I took a job once because it offered the most salary even though I had that nagging feeling that I wouldn't enjoy it as much as the other job, and I sort of have that same feeling again.