Has your friend tried counseling? It would be helpful for her to have someone to talk to with experience in depression. If she is uncomfortable with going, maybe you could offer to go with her?
The one thing I have learned is that you need to try to do things for yourself that are uplifting to try not to ride the rollercoaster with the depressed person. It is tough to do, I know. But maybe you could take a walk, go get a cup of coffee with another friend or even by yourself. I like to walk personally or even get a cup of coffee and walk. But most of all for your friend try to get her to seek some counseling.
((HUGS))

thanks for the suggestion. I'll have to put up some boundaries as well to make sure this doesn't become too much for me.

I'd appreciate any other ideas people can think of.

See if you can't get her to her medical doctor if she resists counseling. Definitely set boundaries. Tell her you want to help but she needs some professional intervention. I agree that offering to go to the visit with her is a good idea.

I believe your friend may have reached a stage of depression where professional assistance is needed. But be strong and encourage her to seek counseling immediately. I know she is weighing you down a bit, but please don't abandon her at the critical time in her life. Sometimes we have to make a deposit in life to receive a withdrawal. You are our hero for your efforts. Be Still.

Rise

Dear Antjie,

Your frustration with trying to help your friend is due to the fact, that most people think that depression is always a disease of the mind instead of the body, with the implication that you can help a perosn overcome his/her depression by logically putting forwarding alternative ways of thinking as in talk-therapy.
Depression is in most cases an physical illness caused by the body unable to produce feel-goodneuroyransmitters such as serotonin or dopamine, because of a underlying flaw in the metabolism nutrients obtained from our diet.

A very common illness that can cause depression or any other type of mood disorder is Hypoglycemia (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/what-is-hypoglycemia/).

For more information please read:
Depression is a Disease of Energy Production PDF
http://curezone.com/upload/PDF/Articles/jurplesman/depression_energy3.pdf

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/depression-a-nutritional-disorder/

and ask her to discuss this with a doctor, nutritional doctor or a counselor.

Hello antjie
first of all , its very kind of you to try to help her
but unfortunately depression is something individual , only she can really help herself but you can offer her new ways to deal with things , new ways to see life , anyway you can try to influence the best in her

Im sure youve been trying that
but since youre running out of ideas
you should try to find something to offer her which would be helpful , I have a blog and its goal is to influence the best in people , if you could get her to take a look at it , Im sure you and her wouldnt regret

www.journeytoyourendless.blogspot.com
this is the link
Think about it
and if you have doubts , take a look yourself

take care and I hope your friend gets better

Thanks guys for your support and suggestions. I put boundaries in place - had no choice - made sure I said to her I would like to continue being your friend but all I have to offer is friendship - I cannot be your counselor. She saw a psychiatrist after a would-be suicide attempt 10 days ago; p-doc suggested psychologist as well. I haven't seen her since then but am meeting her on Saturday and going to a movie and a snack afterwards. I'm a little apprehensive but at the same time I'm keen to see if she's any better.

Just to let you know we had our movie date - it turned into a whole day which was OK. She seems better. I do understand depression, being a sufferer myself (on meds for the rest of my life), but I haven't been profoundly depressed for maybe 20 years, so I guess it's difficult to remember. I made sure my friend understands I am not abandoning her; I mentioned that it had been getting a bit too much for me and she said she understood; she also visited me at my house - watched me sewing and stuff like that. She's quite happy to sit and watch me do stuf, asks me questions about how and what I'm doing - but can't get herself to do much.

She battled a little the first few days with the boundaries I put up - sent me some e-mails that I ignored - but she seems to have made the adjustment.

I did "abandon" her about 18 months ago - she decided to end our friendship and when she back-pedalled a couple of weeks later I didn;t see my way open to resurrecting the relationship. She had been incredibly high maintenance - she was in a manic phase but didn;t have the insight to realise it; her doctor didn;t realise it either because she was lying to him (she was paranoid as well at the time and thought he was "the enemy") and because the doctor said she wasn't manic I figured he must be right (She told me the rest later after we patched things up.)

She has been diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. Terrible thing.

I am still trying to get her to counselling.