It is hard to continually be the one to take care of us both. He wants to move- no surprise to those of you who know me. So... He is really talking about actually up and leaving more than ever before. I think he might do it. So... I am being calm and rational with him. I am working on trying not to take it personally or emotionally when he talks of leaving. I've been good at this now for months and I feel that is what has persuaded him to actually talk more about going.
So... His plan is to move a few states away to a tiny community and figure out what to do when he gets there. He says he will be able to buy a house and support us so I can go too once he has it set up. So... Why be upset?
Well... This puts us apart. If he were to start working here we could save that money and have money to move with. His track record isn't great for working and saving. He says that he will be happy there- away from here. How is that true? His depression will just die there? No... It won't. I talked to him today about talking to a professional counselor... He says that wont help. He's tried a couple times over the years but has not enjoyed the results at all and refuses any prescriptions to help. I thought I'd try to bring it up but there was no success there.
There's nothing for me todo... I know this. I've made it so we can move and gotten work other places but we end up not going. So here I am... Constantly trying to move for him which he will never try to do for himself. Ive been trying to make this a joint effort for years.
I have to continue taking care of me I know- taking care of us. So what do i do? Just try to continue:.. Go about my day and keep us afloat. I love him so much. I really wish he'd get help.
Thanks for letting me vent.