Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Hello there to all my friends :)
I just feel like unloading all the emotions that have been going on- I feel like we haven't touched base in a little while :)
Things over here have been up and down like a rollercoaster I'm just waiting to hop off! hahaha :)
But I am dealing well, using all your coping mechanisms, advice, and just general support you provide. This week, we have decided to tell his family and friends we are looking at moving to his hometown. They couldn't be more thrilled! It has been nice to have love and support! It has made him SO happy to feel the love and SO stressed by the questions being asked of him by his family (job, home, why, etc).
Overall- I think the love he will feel is much needed and appreciated by us both. :)
That being said I have my dad situation which most of you are familiar with. As we've discussed he has control issues and is really going through his own depression it seems. I am not talking to him- I'm not avoiding him at all. He just hasn't called me or made any sort of attempt whatsoever to talk to me. But I am talking with my mom and now his depression of not hearing from me has taken a toll on her so I am trying to keep her up and happy.
Today mom came over for lunch, she wants me to make this easy on my dad but I refuse. For nearly 4 years we have lived a few blocks from my parents only to see them at most 6 times a year! My dad started out fine but as years passed became rude and awful to my guy and I made it easy on them both for so long. I said fine dad- you're rude (to which I specifically had the conversation asking him to be kind and he wouldn't be) so we won't see you. I'll just see you when I need to and call once a week. Dad didn't care. Dad bailed last year on Father's Day and his birthday. Now I feel the way to my heart is through my guy and thats what my dad has to do- make my guy love him.
I might come around and make it easier one day but we'll see. I am surrounded by depression these days but I am ironically watching cartoons and smiling right now so we shall see where this all goes :)
Hugs to all! 'thank you for keeping me sane!
I just feel like unloading all the emotions that have been going on- I feel like we haven't touched base in a little while :)
Things over here have been up and down like a rollercoaster I'm just waiting to hop off! hahaha :)
But I am dealing well, using all your coping mechanisms, advice, and just general support you provide. This week, we have decided to tell his family and friends we are looking at moving to his hometown. They couldn't be more thrilled! It has been nice to have love and support! It has made him SO happy to feel the love and SO stressed by the questions being asked of him by his family (job, home, why, etc).
Overall- I think the love he will feel is much needed and appreciated by us both. :)
That being said I have my dad situation which most of you are familiar with. As we've discussed he has control issues and is really going through his own depression it seems. I am not talking to him- I'm not avoiding him at all. He just hasn't called me or made any sort of attempt whatsoever to talk to me. But I am talking with my mom and now his depression of not hearing from me has taken a toll on her so I am trying to keep her up and happy.
Today mom came over for lunch, she wants me to make this easy on my dad but I refuse. For nearly 4 years we have lived a few blocks from my parents only to see them at most 6 times a year! My dad started out fine but as years passed became rude and awful to my guy and I made it easy on them both for so long. I said fine dad- you're rude (to which I specifically had the conversation asking him to be kind and he wouldn't be) so we won't see you. I'll just see you when I need to and call once a week. Dad didn't care. Dad bailed last year on Father's Day and his birthday. Now I feel the way to my heart is through my guy and thats what my dad has to do- make my guy love him.
I might come around and make it easier one day but we'll see. I am surrounded by depression these days but I am ironically watching cartoons and smiling right now so we shall see where this all goes :)
Hugs to all! 'thank you for keeping me sane!
I'm sorry to hear things are still rocky with your dad. I agree with you though, it sounds like you've done everything you could and it is t fair to you to have to do all of the work. But if he does have depression too, it sounds like the typical behavior traits as far as not taking responsibility for actions and placing the blame on others. At least if that's the case, It would explain some of the behavior traits.
I'm glad you and your mom are still able to spend time together. I'm sure it's helpful to you both to have each other to lean on. :)
I am sorry that this is hard on your mom, the situation with your dad, but am so very glad you are able to spend time together. Hopefully your dad will come around. I have a good feeling. This depression thing, it it tough. It is especially tough when more than one of your family members is suffering with it. But your focus is for the one you live with, you are right you have done what you can with you father. Be proud of all you do.
Hugs back!
I truly appreciate all your help through everything! :)